Finally...........

After much procrastination I got the patterns down. Everything should be winging its way soon.  I had a sudden burst of energy and whilst I had No.3 son to hand I made full use of him. Trimmed a few trees, weeded, moved rubbish, cleared and a dump run. Now I'm sat here picking splinters out.  I treated myself to a nice pale pink nail polish, I don't know why though, nearly every nail has been chipped and broken, not much left of them. 
Its rained off and on all day, woke to brilliant sunshine coming through the curtains and then by the time I'd got dressed and outside it was back to miserable again. I had a trip to the library and stocked up on chick books.  I'm struggling with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I've had it a week and have only got about 50 pages in. 
Not sure wether its the kids next door running around the house, trucks going over the bridge outside town or thunder.  Judging by the colour of the sky it could very well be thunder. 
Okay, well thats me out of here, I'm off to pick out the rest of the splinters, get dressed and curl up with a gardening book.

Jan

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO

Snowpeople are finished..........patterns still to be typed out but all the notes are there ready to go.  Final three have been chosen for submission plus the snowbear.  Photo's of the chosen ones to be done shortly. The ones above are the prototypes, the chosen ones are way cuter.

procrastination yet again.

I am mooching round the house looking for things to clean, anything other than sitting down and crafting and getting those damm snowmen finished. I love doing them its just I can't bring myself to a) write out the pattern properly on the computer, b) sit down and waste time crafting the whole day.  What is wrong with me.  The house is full of snowballs that need to be assembled. Buttons need to be sewn on, carrot noses made.

I soaked all the sheets in the neighbours holiday home in bleach yesterday just to keep me occupied, i even vacummed behind things.  I'm considering getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the bathroom floor tiles and if it wasn't so wild and wet outside I'd think about getting out the ladders and cleaning the windows. 

Once upon a time, long before widowhood, heart attacks and by-passes I would have ignored the cleaning and the time. I would spend hours crafting and always felt guilty about leaving things undone.  Sometimes needles, threads and yarns had to be prised from my hands in the early hours, I was totally oblivious to the time.  Now I have time (and I know I have moaned about this many times before) I just can't get the motivation to use that time.
Perhaps I am hoping that I'm going to get an AHA! moment, that the light bulb is going to glow brightly, by writing my feelings down maybe I will see what is so obvious.

So......what am I going to do.   Bath the dog is what I am going to do, then fold sheets, then have a cup of coffee and read a few more blogs, then sort out my already sorted out kitchen cupboards, then prune a few plants, then sweep off the verandah, then maybe have another coffee, check my emails, prepare dinner and by then it should be bedtime again.

These are some of the things I am capable of when I am motivated.

Strange Day......

Weird dreams, reflux, scratching dog, leg cramps, howling winds......I was like a zombie when i finally dragged myself out of bed this morning.  If I hadn't had to work this morning i would have pulled the covers straight back over my head and slept the day away.  The weather isn't helping - wet, miserable, misty and a bit nippy. 

This mornings job started out fine, i was on a roll until it came time to go over the non-compliance list with the manager who disappeared, he passed the buck to someone else who in turn threw it to someone else who then passed it to the junior to deal with.  I don't care anymore as long as I get paid for my bit thats okay with me. 

I went to the library after and couldn't find one book I really wanted to read. I finally picked the girl with the dragon tattoo. Driving home it was like I was invisible, I had my lights on because of the weather, I had cars pulling out in front of me at junctions, cars coming across the centre line and narrowly missing me and then I just remembered in time I had to get petrol and just made it to the servo. I even had a couple of huge rats run out in front of me.

The owners of the holiday home next door stayed the weekend and had to leave in a hurry cos their son was sick which means she's left me a nice mess to sort out. Beds to be stripped and a bathroom to clean.  But at least its more money for me.

I feel so out of sorts today, headachey - actually a bit fluey. I'm gonna go put next doors washing on and then I'm going to crawl into bed with my book.

Jan

Procrastination

Oh dear, I have a deadline....end of April and the end of April is easter, so it has to be a deadline the week before easter.  I do not feel like doing anything.  My get up and go packed its bags and left for a holiday in a dryer climate.  This constant drizzle and miserable weather is just draining the life out of me.  Come on Sun I know you are are there.

I have plants to put in - up and out of bed at 6.30 and out to the market two towns over to pick up some promised eggplants seedlings, it was wet and muddy and I didn't feel like going so it was straight there and back.  I suppose they will sit in their pots next to the coriander seedlings I bought last weekend, waiting for me to get my act together and get them planted.

The snowmen (deadline items) are in snowballs still waiting construction, then I came up with another idea and of course had to drop everything to do that - and of course that is now waiting to be finished.

I have the beginnings a new love life if I can stop making excuses why I can't have one right now.

I need to get a new career, but thats been put on hold cos I now have carpal tunnel in my wrists and in my elbow, so that sort of puts paid for me looking at admin or clerical work, its also slowed down the craft work.  I think carpal is slightly better than the neuropathy from the diabetes that it could have been but isn't.

So, rather than move forward, I've stuck everything in the too hard basket and am now sat here procrastinating.

I know how to get myself out of it, I know I have a problem and I know how to deal with it,
I have all the tools necessary in my life to move forward.  I am the Queen of Self Sabatage, my life is going good and its like 'okay I know something bad is going to happen soon so I'll just stop now so I won't be disappointed', 'if I make the effort in this new relationship and then something goes wrong and it doesn't work out then I will get hurt, so I'll just finish it now to save all that pain'....... you see where I am going with this.

OK, rant over. Thats feels better.  Now to go and push myself to do something, maybe knock down a few of these barriers I've built up around myself.

Jan


PS: One of the things I did last week (Friday) was have all my hair cut off...........and I had a few streaks put in.  I went into the hairdressers and she did it there and then , no procrastinating. If I had gone home and thought about it I would have chickened out.
So look out for the new photo coming soon. I can have my hair straight or allow it to be its normal wavy self. The straight style sort of needs to grow on me a bit, and she's cut it so that the silver wings blend in with the streaks.

Firsts for this little old lady......

After my appointment in town I met up with a friend for coffee and we decided to have a girly day out - op-shopping and checking out places we don't normally go.  Two girly day outs in a week - can my system cope with it all.  Bought a seersucker pink and yellow table cloth at one op-shop - I have such a large dining table that it is hard to find everyday tablecloths for it so I was really pleased when we unfolded the table cloth and it was huge.  Then we decided to go over to the next town for lunch. First time ever I have been in a RSL club, aftern lunch my friend showed me how to play the pokies, another first.  I really can't see what the point is just sitting at a machine and hitting that button over and over again.  Soon got bored with that but at least I didn't lose any money.  But that's two more things I can tick off my firsts list. 
The heavens opened just has we were going back to the car, we had to sit ouside Target for 10 mins before we could get out of the car.  They had my favourite knickers in the sale and they were even reduced by another dollar at the checkoout so I was a happy little Jan.  Treated myself to a new cd - Bat out of Hell, my old tape of it has finally given up the ghost, its over 30 years old and with all the playing its had over the years I'm surprised its lasted this long. 
Bought more yarn as well - yes, I needed it. I knit half of it up last night in a spiral scarf and I'm not happy with the colour changes in it.  So it might become something else. I might knit up a pair of fingerless gloves or socks instead. 

  Well, like a bat out of hell I'm going, going, gone.

Start to the day

Just a quickie, a bit of pink in my dreary wet day. I ran out of milk and forgot to buy more so couldn't have my morning coffee.  A cup of red fruits tea and I am ready for anything though.  Now, I really had better go get dressed and get into town.

Jan

be careful what you say.....

Coming out of Spotlight (and I managed to get out with only spending $18), I commented to my friends to be careful because there was slippery wet slimy moss in the gutters.  No sooner than the words were out of my mouth then the back of my foot came down on the aforementioned slime and I away I went, did the splits, managed to stay upright but slid into the car. 
Once the three of us are together doing our 'chick' things  we are oblivious to the world around us,  though having reli's and friends in Japan was never far from our minds.  I had not long been through the door after returning home and heard on the news there had been a small earthquake about 30 klms out to sea and slightly south from where we had spent the day, roughly about the time we were getting in the car to come home.   I never felt a thing even though it was reported that people in the area had reported feeling movement.
I was amazed just how many earthquakes there are in the world every day. 
Better get a wiggle on, the morning is running away from me. Got an appointment in town and then coffee with a friend.

Hugs to all

Jan

The universe is conspiring against me again. Its piddled down all day, its wet and its miserable and there is more forcast.  But compared to the coast further south this is nothing. Definately not in the mood for sourcing something pretty, not even the thought of lots of garage sales could coach me out of the house.  Comfort food that is what I needed - a fried egg butty with lashings of HP sauce.  I had attempted to have one for my dinner last night, but a friend phoned up just as I was about to take the first bite and by the time she had rang off it was stone cold and very unappitising so it went in the bin. Lunchtime I had another attempt - cracked the egg into the pan, perfect, didn't break the yoke this time - bugger, hang on why is it a yucky green colour, bugger, bugger and triple bugger. Okay universe so you don't want me to have anything unhealthy for lunch. Ha, the breads already buttered, just bung on some peanut butter and strawberry jam.  Gotcha there didn't I universe.   I suppose as always the universe will have the last laugh.

I'm going to curl up now with my sudoku and be lazy for the rest of the day.

Boring, boring, boring

I look around my house and it is BORING.  No pretty pinks or pastels but dull browns and dark colours with the added bits of colour from the bright coloured crocheted throws and the snowman dolls.
I am on a mission to get rid of brown in my life.  It doesn't help that my late beloved had a thing for natural wood, he loved his wood and working with it and he made a lot of the things in our house.  The kitchen is Queensland Maple, which is a nice golden colour and has mellowed and I am happy with that but the other wood in the living room is a dark reddy brown, the carpet is a yucky browny colour.  Its all too masculine. I've tried to pretty it up, I've got pretty blue and flowery things in the bedrooms but they still seem to be dominated by wood.  I'm not a frilly frilly pretty girl, but I do like plain and pretty (is there such a thing) and simple. I have a severe lack of funds for anything major so it has to be done on the cheap.
My mission if I choose to accept it - Pretty up my life.

So what am I going to do today to pretty up my life.  I am going to set myself a target of $10 this weekend to buy something that will give me joy and make my life just a little bit more prettier.



             

chimichangas

Chimigangas are a tex mex dish,  Bubz.  Google the recipe as there a few different ways of doing them.  I always add a packet of taco sauce mix (Homebrand) to the stock the meat is cooked in and a bit extra liquid.  The meat is cooked on a low heat with garlic and spices for a couple of hours till all the liquid has practically gone and then it is shredded easily with two forks.  Then a dollop of the mixture is put in the centre of a warm tortilla and then the tortilla is fold up into a little packet and fried on both sides.  I found the recipe in one of those little family circle cook books that are always at woolies checkouts.  This one was Tex Mex.

The Cassowary Coast are still copping the rain, up here in on the Atherton Tablelands some areas are getting more than most and one poor woman was washed away when her car was washed off the road. They found her body the other day.  It made me feel sick knowing just how easy it could happen and I know my friend and I won't be doing it again any time soon.  Our part of the Tablelands is getting steady rain but not big numbers, yesterday there was 60mm from the previous 24 hours and today there was only 15mm in the rain gauge, yet about 40 klms away they got over 60mm.  I've seen rain fall on one half of the road and the other half be as dry as anything, it was like a curtain of rain.  Very strange.

Well I suppose I'd better go get some work done.

Jan

Computer glitches yet again

Computer worked fine last night, this morning it was playing up yet again. So after making sure it wasn't human error (mine) I packed up the hard drive and off I went again.  Terry looked at it straight away,  found out what the problem was and sorted it out with  no charge.  So lets see how long this lasts for.

I bought some choc chip orange cookies this morning, yum.  There goes the diet.  I wonder how many klms on the treadmill will burn off three or four cookies. 

Yay.......the council finally came and picked up all my green waste from the footpath.  I registered three times to get it moved, it had grown as well, some of the broken branches had actually struck and a tree fern had taken over the centre of the pile. It took two big muscley men to move what one little old lady with a dodgy ticker had put there.  Now I have to go and hose off the footpath and sweep up the debris......or do I wait for the deluge that is scheduled to come down this arvo.

Now my puter is well and truly fixed I should really go get those patterns typed up.

Jan

Computer glitches, chimichangas and snowmen

Just got my old girl back from the computer doctor, don't know what was up with her but she didn't want to play anymore.  She's all fixed up now and I'm busy catching up.  The house has been so quiet without her. I actually got out into the garden inbetween rain showers, put in some more gingers and fire lilys and found the cutest little green tree frog, it was only about half an inch big, he jumped away before I could get my camera out.  I'm a pretty hit and miss gardener, I like plants that look after themselves and are easily propagated.  I've fallen in love with bromeliads and I am gradually building up a collection, now I'm looking out for someone to help me lay a patio area under the pergola, all the slate I laid a few years ago needs lifting and re-laying.  The veggies are growing really well, the purple king beans I put in last Thursday have sprouted all ready. 

I had a nice piece of beef skirt and finally got around to making chimichangas, skirt shreds so easily and cooks up really tender.  Just popping them in the pan and No.2 son turned up, of course he had to be invited to stay for dinner.  There went tomorrows lunch. 

The snow people are multiplying all over the house, big and little.  I wish I could show them to you they look so cute.  I'm tackling the pattern tomorrow, giving it a tweak here and there and it should be ready to send for submission next week and then I can start on the christmas stitcheries.

Still raining, the areas that copped the worst of the  cyclone are copping all the rain, Mission Beach got over 300mm in a day, there has been a couple of landslides which have stranded people out there and there is more rain on the way and the chance of another cyclone. 

Its an early night for me tonight, right after Grays, curling up with Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet, I've attempted to read P and P so many times but never actually finished it.  Its on my list of things to do.   Doing some family research and found out that an ancestor of my hubby went to the same school as Jane Austen and around the same time.

Better go watch the end of How I met your Mother, a quick shower and then Grays.

Jan

who put that hole there........

A cane toad thats who........probably in retaliation for me decapitating its mate the last time I mowed.  Down I went, the mower went one way and I went down on one knee, not quite hitting the ground. The perfect curtsey.  Pity the queen wasn't around to see it. 
Went off to market this morning with a couple of friends.  Wet and muddy but who cares, we were on a mission. I bought another variation of a lipstick plant and a Finger Lime plant. I have been after one of these for three years and finally got one. Its very prickly and very small and very slow growing. But I have patience aznd can wait, (Oh yes I can - for some things anyway). 
Has anyone been taking CoenzymeQ10, I've just started in the hope that it can stop the muscle aches from taking Lipitor.  I would like some feedback as to wether it actually works.
Well the last bit of lawn won't be getting mowed today, the heavens have opened.  Its wet, wet and wetter.  No fun mowing a muddy lawn.  I think I'll just play around on the puter today. I have been so good and restricted myself to just a couple of hours a day on it. I need to get down and get some patterns written out.. The magazine is interested in the snowpeople so I can't show them in all their glory.  They are very cute though.
I picked up a whole heap of crochet books from the op-shop last week, one that I had years ago (like, 30+yrs) and had started to make a tablecloth from it. It never got bigger than a runner but now I have found the pattern in the book i bought I might get to finally finish it.
The date on the book is 1975 so I reckon this is one of my oldest ufo's. The only thing now is to find out where I hid it.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Jan

Deck the halls with........

Yes I know it March tomorrow and christmas has been and gone. But I'm designing stitcheries and amigurumi's for next christmas. I'm trying to get in the mood.  The snowmen are all done, now its time to make a snowwoman.  Then they are all set for some winter fun in the snow with a basket of snowballs.  While I had the ironing board out I ironed all the homespun scraps ready for drawing out the stitcheries.  Now I have to get in the mood for stitching. 

This morning I collected all the recycling from around the house and all the stuff to go to the op-shop, then I cleaned the phone, I've wiped the fridge down and clipped 5 of the dogs toe-nails,  cleaned my hairbrushes, seasoned the cast iron frying pans and now looking round for a few more little jobs to do.  Anything rather than sit down and craft.  I know once I put those first few stitches in I'll be on a roll.  Its just getting to that stage that I am putting off. WHY....I haven't a clue.  I've got farm town fields to plow, seeds to plant and I have to try and keep up the winning score for this week in Mahjong. I really should be banned from facebook.  What I need is to be whisked away to a desert island with all my crafty things and drawing books and colouring pencils with someone to cook my meals and clean up after me, quiet music playing in the background with a cool breeze and the sounds of the ocean to calm me.  No stress about having to do all the everyday things, no stress over having to look for work or lose my benefits, no stress over paying bills and finding money just to get through each day. ..........bliss.





Looks like its coffee time

so thats me outta here for now. Lets see if caffeine can get me motivated to make the little girl snowman and to start one stitchery.

Who p'd off Mother Nature

It makes you wonder what is going to be next.  Prayers for all in Christchurch and surrounds.

Meanwhile back in my little part of the world everything is calm and relaxed.  Two snowmen finished. Got an extra shoppy job to do tomorrow, got a product audit to do in the morning and then have to whizz over to Mareeba for a quick customer service assessment.  Might pop into Rivers who have a sale on.  I like their shoes.  I was supposed to be babysitting a friends dog in the morning as she had to fly to Bris for a hospital appointment but that got cancelled cos the medical team she was supposed to see are being sent to NZ.  So I have a couple of hours spare in the a.m. to do as I please.

I had a crap nights sleep due to a reflux attack, not had one for a while but its my own fault for having dinner late.  Then there were the weird dreams.  Why am I dreaming about cultures with strong traditions.  Four nights on the trot now I have had them.  Different scenarios but the themes are all along the same lines - the traditions and beliefs that hold us back from moving forwards. Ingrained behaviors.  In the dreams I am always fighting against them.  Dugong features in many of my dreams, maybe she is my totem spirit making herself known.

Time to make a cup of tea before bed, I have a debbie maccomber book to finish.  and another one to start so its an early night for me.  

Jan



Carrots

I found a thinner yarn and using a smaller hook I crocheted a carrot nose.  The second snowman is not as cute as the first and I suppose when I do the third he or she will be different again.  So now I have to do a candy cane walking stick.  I might leave this out of the final pattern draft and maybe add something else, I thought maybe a basket of snowballs. We'll see how it goes.  
Pulling weeds yesterday I also pulled my back, I really should learn.  Its not a disc or anything but I think it is more muscle related.  So enforced rest today.  Luckily I got the lawns done and the place looks reasonably tidy so if the queen comes for tea I won't be making up excuses why the place is a mess.  I can sit and crochet and make pattern notes. I need to iron the washed homespun for the stitcheries but that can wait till later in the week.  The patterns are all drawn out so I could work out the colours I want to use and the stitches.  I have lots of christmas fabric I have collected over the years so they will be used as borders.  Some is definately vintage.  Which will fit in quite nicely with the theme of the stitcheries.
At the moment I am still waiting for my passion to come back, I am working away at these new designs but I am feeling nothing, no excitement or enthusiasm.  I am enjoying doing them but it still feels like a chore.  In fact right now I feel very little excitement about anything in my  life.  I enjoy being with my friends and having a good laugh but even they have noticed that I am not my usual bubbly/warped/ strange/delightfully weird self.
Reading my posts here and on the craft forums I can see I have definately become more normal than usual, BORING I might add.  Am I finally growing up, maturing, ripening, acting my age.  How scary.

Jan

Well maybe I'll be choosy next time.....

trouble is I'm a 'fixer', I just can't help myself. If somebody needs help I just barge right in.
But I think maybe I will not be so fast to offer my services in future.
The realtor has told next door the house could go for around $375,000 and thats with the white ant damage and the all the renovation that is needed.  I fell in love with the most gorgeous queenslander that is for sale, beautiful views, cathredral ceilings, wrap around verandahs on a 2 acre block with fruit trees and bordered by a creek.  Just under a million, oh well I can dream - so much for downsizing.  
The garage sale next door was to have been next weekend and they said I could go and pick anything I wanted before the sale.  There was a nice old white table I fancied to do up and a duck casserole dish (long story over the duck) but nothing else.  They decided yesterday to have the garage sale that day, they came round this morning and said I could take my pick of what was left.  I got a couple of Al's books on woodworking and a model motorbike for RYan and that was it.  Everything I would have liked had gone or been given away.  I felt awful picking through the dregs of a friends life.  I have been thanked for all the help I have given their parents over the years which is all I really ever wanted from them. 
But life goes on and now I can look forward to new neighbours pretty soon.  I have to tell the son that the fence line is in the wrong place, Al didn't want to mow down a little slope on the fence line so he asked if he could put the fence at the top of the slope thus giving us an extra foot (and yes, I had to mow up the slope), he also moved the fence line at the bottom as well which means his neighbour over the back got an extra foot, if that is moved back then their new house has been built too close to the original fence line and could cause problems with town planning.  Moral dilemma - do I keep schtum, the surveyors will probably pick it up.  I know my neighbour on the other side said all the fence lines were out anyway.
Life is quiet without the dog, my dog is running around looking for her.  I hope her new owners love her and treat her right.  She knew something was going on, kept glaring at me.
We had one last long walk by the lake early friday morning and then I took her over to next door as I had to work over in Mareeba for a couple of hours, she was trying to get back to me as I left. When I got back later I thought she had gone. I opened the front door to go check the post and the car was just leaving, she was sat in the back seat looking out of the window, I quickly shut the door.  I know I made the right decision.
Back on the craft front, I have crocheted an amigurumi snowman, he looks quite cute.  I need to find a carrot button or charm for his nose. I tried to make a felt one but it didn't look right.  A trip to Spotlight was planned for yesterday but plans changed and I really didn't fancy going down today.  I did tell RYan Spotlight was a good place to pick up girls - lots of cute assistants willing to help a young good looking man who was looking for something for his mum but he didn't fall for it.  Liam on the other hand who is now single again said it was a good idea.  What do you think could happen to two country boys in the big city looking for a carrot for a snowmans nose.

JAN

Why am I so happy.......

The dog goes tomorrow to her new home.  In the three weeks she has been with me I've managed to train her not to pee in the house, not to jump up on the furniture or to jump up at people.  No thanks you's for that.  I've fed her, I've walked her, I've loved her. 
To be quite honest she's a sneaky little bully of a dog who has been spoiled rotten, treated like a human rather than an animal.  I will miss the walks though, my little Poppy is going to have to get used to being dragged out from under the bed in the future for early morning walks down by the lake.  I had told the owners family that I couldn't afford to get her vet-checked, chipped and de-sexed if I took her, so we went back to the original plan of a friend of the home-help taking her.  The family offered to pay all the vets bills for her cos she couldn't afford it.  The family have stripped the house bare, dumped half of it, given a whole heap away to their friends and then asked me if there was anything I wanted out of the crap that was left. 
That was before the old man was dead and now the old lady is still alive in hospital, totally out of it though.  They are not having a funeral, he's going to be cremated yesterday, today or tomorrow, who knows.  They are all squabbling over who's getting what. I don't want a thing.  I watched out for their parents because they couldn't be bothered to, they were quite happy to stand back and let me do it.    My boys are upset because the old man was like a grandfather to them. So I think we'll have our own ceremony to farewell him at the weekend.  I'm just so mad how his family have treated him and are now treating his things. Theres no respect.   In a way its a blessing that their mother is not with it at all.
It has made me think that in future I will not be so helpful and nice.  Not so eager to be the good neighbour.  The house will probably be sold to someone who wants it as a holiday home.  Pretty soon nearly all the houses where I live will be holidays rentals.  In fact on my street I think there are only 3 people that can say they have lived there over 18 years and I am one of them.   I think now it might be time for me to pull out and sell up.  Move to a smaller place with less garden, closer to the hospitals and shops.  The rates here are sky high and we have less amenitites than everywhere else. Its been yuppified, everything has been taken over by boutique motels and spas, its all geared up for the tourists. 
I need to downsize, get rid of a few things, have less clutter around.  Even though I have had major declutters in the past couple of years there still a lot left.  I have half a rainforest under the house and a toolshed full of tools nobody uses.
I might check out the realtor websites and see what is available.

Jan

Getting my mojo back

Its coming slowly but surely. I worked for 4 hours in the craft room yesterday. I had intended to turn off the computer at 9 a.m yesterday and work till lunch time, but I went in there purely to set everything up ready to go and then actually sat down to work at 8.30. I had realised the computer was still on but knew if I left the craft room i would get side-tracked. Just as I had that thought it hit 9 o'clock and there was a short power outage for maybe a few seconds - enough to turn off the computer.  Even the universe seems to be pushing me to get back to designing. I am happy with what I have done.  The snowman was actually drawn straight onto calico and stitched last October with no draft drawing done first, so I had to the first draft for it.   I'm going to work on them a bit more before I commit them to fabric.  I've worked all morning again in the craft room, I can't believe its lunch time already. So I've taken the photo's, edited and made a collage and watermarked it.  Now I can start perhaps changing, adding or removed certain things. I'm itchin to get stitchin but I have to be patiant.
I have made the decision to let the foster dog go, for once I am letting my head rule and not the heart. She's a beautiful dog but my little old girl is suffering, the foster dog is very demanding and is constantly pushing Poppy away from me.  She's knows her master has gone, she is moping and sooo sad, especially as she can hear the family in his house next door.   After a discussion with her owners family they realise they can't keep her either and she needs to go to a home where she has plenty of space and someone there all the time.  She's laying at my feet now
and follows me everywhere.  Its been good for me with all the walks she has been getting.
But I have to let her go before I get too attached. 

Thank you Norma.....

After a long chat with my 'cuz' I decided to clear out my bag.

Three pieces of wrapped up chewed up chewing gum.

One urine sample bottle. ( Unused).

Four hair grips.

Cough Lolly wrappers.

1 lace vintage hanky.

One heart spray.

One hand sanitiser.

One asthma inhaler.

Two hair ties.
One brush.

One bolt off the old lawn mower.

One barbeque skewer (used).

One list (not mine, don't know where it came from).

One list (mine) from christmas.

One breast screen notice.

A collection of teeth from a comb.

Glitter (from a painting my grandaughter gave me).
New Rego sticker that should have been put on the car days ago.

Dozen shopping receipts - kept because you get 4c off a litre of petrol, all out of date.

Old phone bill (paid).
Dozens of bank receipts.
Two Avon sample lippies(Covered in glitter).
One dead phone.

Old and new appointment letters.

One cosmetic bag (empty).

One dead plant cutting.
Sand (?).
Half a packet of sticky cough lollies (with sand attached).
I was wondering where the sand came from but then I found the sea-shell.

I've filed the things that needed to be filed, put all the medications and hair stuff in the cosmetic bag, thrown out all the old receipts, emptied out the sand and glitter, put the rego on the kitchen bench near the back door so it is the first thing I do in the morning. Thrown out the chewing gum and rubbish. Charged up my phone, the sample bottle will be filled in the morning (like you needed to know that LOL), I remembered where the skewer came from - a Lenards mexican chilli chicken sausage sample.  I've stuck the appointment letters on the fridge - I need a bigger fridge, I'm running out of space and fridge magnets.

I've made a new list of things that I need to do, think, say, feel this week.

Tomorrow I am going to stay off the puter as long as I can unless it is for research, I am going to stick myself in the craft room and I am going to get these ideas that are running round my head out of there and on to paper.  I am going to feel that passion again, I am going to be fired up and enthusiastic about my work and my life.  I am going to stop self sabataging. I am going to go back to cooking proper meals. I am going to kick this self indulgent apathy and lethargy in the butt. Well, maybe the day after tomorrow I'll do it.

Jan

sad news

My dear sweet friend has passed on.  Tears have been shed, hugs have been given, stories told, regrets made..........and that is all I am going to say on the matter.  Life goes on.

Another Day

Thanks Norma, I'll email you after I've posted here.

Despite my beliefs I still find it hard.  I got so upset because Al and his wife have worked hard all their lives and at the end of it they should be able to have a peaceful retirement. Instead they have been dogged by bad health these past few years, living in a run down house. I can only do so much and I have to realise that I can't 'fix' everything and everyone.  These were their choices,  I've stepped back from my family issues, they are all grown men but if they ask for my advice and help I will give it.  My choice right now is to look after me. 
I slept really well last night, though looking at the twisted covers on the bed I might have been a bit restless.  I got up early, took the dog for a run, came home cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, swept off the leaves from the verandah and am now sat having my coffee. A friend will be here soon for her shower and to charge her puter and phone up (still no power out at her place) and its still not 8.00 a.m.
I want to get back to my dolls, the originals, the ones that have just been in Handmade have longer legs and bigger feet, the new ones seem to have evolved into shorter chubbier dolls.  I have doll body parts all over the place and I have orders for 5 more. So I am going to try and make a long legged set and a chubby set and then people can choose which they prefer.  Then I want to get started on something else, the robot and dinasaur are in the process of evolving, I'm going to change the patterns slightly.  Its funny but when I first started doing amigurumi the creatures were smaller and stranger, I made them up as I went along and I never made the same thing twice. Now I think the inner control freak has taken over and they are becoming more 'normal'.  Its markets at the end of the month, so I might try and get a few of the weirder smaller cats and bears done and just a couple of the dolls and see which people prefer. 
I'm going to go pop a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and hope that today is not its day for burning everything to a crisp.  Typical, its starts to go wrong just when its out of warranty.

Jan

Taking a breather

January was a full on month, February started out that way as well. A neighbour and his wife, a lovely old couple who are like parents to me are both in hospital. I have been looking after their dog and house. I do it because, well I just do it, for no reason other than following the golden rule. Today my beautiful friend took a turn for the worse, I recognised the signs of a tired body shutting down, a soul ready for its next journey, I held his hand and calmed him down while the nurses took tests and prodded and probed.  A very young doctor totally unused to the situation told me his heart was failing. This wonderful man who cared for his wife who has dementia, this wonderful who loves his family so much he didn't tell (or let me tell) them that he was in hospital, he didn't want to worry them. His daughter came up to see him yesterday and I told her I would keep her informed, today I had to phone up and tell her that she should get back as soon as possible and to get in touch with her brother.
I have been running back and forth to the hospital, looking after his things, preparing both our houses for cyclones and now I am tired, oh so tired. I'm afraid after I left the hospital I cracked, I found I had left the daughters phone number at home so I was going to rush home and get it, only to find I had left my car lights on so I had a flat battery, looking for my phone I realised I had left it by the computer. The public phone chewed up all my money and I was unable to phone my son. I asked a young man if he could jump start my car but he didn't have jump leads.  Last week I threw the old jump leads in the back of the car thinking one day I might need them.  So he started me up and I took off home, after I had made the calls, I phoned a friend and she asked if I was all right and I just fell to pieces.  Then my son phoned and that was it.  I certainly feel a lot better for getting rid of it all and feel I cope now.  My friend drove me back to the hospital because I didn't want Albert to be on his own.  I held his hand for a while and talked utter rubbish as you do.  He seemed to be sleeping so while the nurses did some more tests my son and I went for a coffee.  When we got back the daughter was there so I felt my job was done, I could take a step back.  His grandson is on his way up and the son is trying to get a flight down from Weipa.
Peg the wife is so ill on another ward, her body is being assaulted by infection after infection, she kept apologsing for not recognising me or knowing who I was.  My only hope is that when Al goes Peg will be close behind him, horrible I know for the family but they have just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary and they have been inseparable. He sings romantic songs to her and tells her she still looks sexy to him. They argue over silly things and then kiss and make up.  She was 16 and he was 19 when they married in LOndon. They came to australia for a new life, both chefs working at top hotels, till they had their own restaurant.  He was also a french polisher and I have a beautiful coffee table he made me one christmas.  One christmas he made me a sentry box about 19 iches high painted blue, when I opened it it had a very cheeky looking garden gnome in it and 'Al' has guarded the front door for many years.  Funny thing, it was the one thing I forgot to take in from outside when the cyclone hit.  It hadn't even moved slightly despite a bush next to it being damaged.
Enough waffling, this isn't really for anyone else to read though if you do I would appreciate you say a little prayer for my friends and their family. This is my way of releasing grief, releasing some feelings I thought I had got rid of, releasing some memories of a time before when the grief belonged to me and mine.

update

Our area up in the mountains came through okay, not so on the coast - Innisfail, Tully, Cardwell and Ingham, all the small communities surrounding them as well.  Hundreds of houses smashed to pieces. One death due to fumes from a generator being used in the house. The resort at Dunk Island totally destroyed.  The devastation is immense. The area Yasi covered was unbelievable. Its affects are still being felt by weather systems all over the country. Victoria now has floods. 
It was scary, but I have been through scarier. My gut feeling told me I would be safe.  We were prepared to use the bathroom as our saferoom but I fell asleep around 3 a.m. in my chair, woke at 5 and it was still blowing. Not much damage, the roof and windows held, a couple of trees down that fell away from the house.  A lot of areas are still without power, a friend comes over for showers and to charge her phone and computer batteries.  The roads are flooded on the coast thanks to the tidal surge (thats what caused a lot of the damage) so food supplies can't get up here, shelves are bare in the shops.  Even though we have Malanda Milk in the next town milk was in short supply as they had no power to process it.
We've had thunder storms every afternoon, but we've not had the rain that was predicted with it.  Its just started now, I have to get into town to visit my neighbour, I forgot to take him his razor yesterday - though the nurses do a good job of shaving him he's rather do it himself.  I'll quickly rush into IGA after and see if there is any bread and milk.  All my bread has gone mouldy. 
I've been trying to get the garden tidied up, put back the pots and baskets that I had put in the shed. Some windows still have tape on them..........something tells me not to bother though that perhaps another cyclone or bad storm is coming over the next few weeks.  Its a strange feeling, I don't like it, its like waiting for something big to happen.  I've been ignoring my intuition recently when I should have been listening to it.  But at least we will be prepared if anything else does happen.

Jan

the trouble with Cyclones......

As the world will now know the north of queensland is waiting for a horrendous cyclone to hit land. Its known as Yasi and will be the worst one ever to hit.  Here on the Tablelands we won't get it as bad as the coastal areas but it will still be bad.  The last two days have been spend preparing - chopping trees, taping windows, making sure everything that can be tied down is and moving things that could become missiles. They estimate that the winds will be nearly 300 klms an hour.  Pretty scary.  I have not only had my own house to sort out but neighbours as well on both sides, one couple is in hospital and another lives away.  I was working on my own for the most of it with the boys coming in to do the heavy stuff. 
But as the title says the trouble with cyclones - well the trouble with cyclones is once the prep is done all you have to do is sit and wait, listening for that train roar of wind bearing down, the sounds of splintering wood and crashing and cracking all around.   Tjey are keeping us all updated on the tele about the different areas and how they will be affected but when you see what is happening and then realise that you will have to go through that shortly is terrifying.  I have my youngest son here with me now, he managed to get up the range before they closed it off.  I also have my dog and the neighbours dog.  So we are going to hunker down in the bathroom as its windows are the smallest.  The news has just said that it will go down to a category 3 once it reaches us but a 5 when it hits the coast.
My sis in law was mandatory evacuated yesterday to higher ground and most of cairns are hiding out in shopping malls and sports centres.  The hospitals in cairns have air lifted out patients to Brisbane.
So now we wait and hope that by daylight tomorrow we will be picking up the pieces and remaking all our lives.  I hope that my roof holds, I am expecting the shed roof to go and a few trees and perhaps the verandah roof.
These adverse weather conditions are becoming more and more usual.  I think how we think will be changed, our values and what matters to us the most will be most important.
Well enough waffling the winds are getting stronger and the power is flickering.  Think of me and mine and all of the far north of q'land, keep everything crossed for us and put us in your prayers.

Jan

Things that are sent to try us.....

Everytime I seem to get anywhere in my life, when life has finaly settled down to an even pace, there is alway something that comes along to send everything flying. 
Two major family upheavals this month, bombshells dropped. Okay I can cope with that, I have to stand back and let family members deal with their own problems....I cannot fix everything and I have to do this for their sakes and mine.  Work.....don't get anything for weeks and then its full on, this includes my dolls. They are selling like hotcakes.
Neighbours.......both taken into hospital, now this is where I can't stand back, their family is not close and they need someone to look after the house and their dog.  So I'm rushing back and forth between the hospital, their house and my house.  I can't have their dog at my house because my little horror wants to fight her all the time despite them always playing together when the neighbours dog was a puppy.
The upside is that I've lost a kilo with all the running around.  My goal for this quarter was to lose 15 kg in 12 weeks.  I need to lose more but I'm doing it slowly.  I've upped my exercise regime, I did include rope skipping but that was just to painful, too many jiggly bits.  I'm walking more - including walking up and down with a push mower through long grass and despite really really not wanting to I am going to start doing Yoga.

Excitement last week when a friend and I went to the big city for some r.t.   We decided to go up to Port. The rain poured down on the coast road and it continued to pour.  Going back the inland way we hit flooding.  Being brave we decided to chance it over a flooded creek and very nearly go washed away, it didn't look like the bridge was over by much but halfway over it got very scary, we were following a ute towing a trailer full of kayaks (how ironic) and he started to get into a bit of trouble.  The road dipped down and the water got deeper and we really didn't think we were going to make it, but the angels must have been getting their feet wet pushing us through that water. I think if we both had have got out of the car when we got to dry land we would have collapsed with our legs turning to jelly.
We hit a few more creek bridges that were over but only just as we could still see the road under the water, still scary though.  All the time we were thinking of the floods down south and how a few people had lost their lives through trying to get across flooded bridges.
We will never ever in a million years do that again.

Better get off and go to the hospital, hopefully the doc can tell us more.

Jan

PS: Just got back from the hospital, my neighbour had tried to sit up in bed to go for a pee and fell over hitting his head on the metal cabinet by the bed. He's got more tests today, he has fibromyalgia and bad atheritus, diabetes and a bad heart so he really doesn't want anything else. He's very weak and confused. His wife has dementia and they think she has had another stroke.   I actually got some sense out of her this morning which is more than the poor nurses or Al did. 
I'm going to attempt finishing off my lawns today and make a start on my neighbours lawns.
Hopefully all these extra kilo's will start falling off me.

What doesn't break us will only make us stronger - gotta keep telling myself that

Time

I had a little epiphany this morning.  Time.  How much I hate being ruled by it and how I fight it.  I buy diaries and calendars, start off really well with them and by the end of February they lay forgotten.  I am forever forgetting things, mainly because I don't look at my diary, i go to appointments on wrong days and if I actually get the date and time right its only beacuase I made a conscious effort to remember - big notes on the fridge, memo alarm on my phone and puter, friends phoning me up to remind me.
A friend is picking me up in 30 mins to go out for the day shopping. Am I getting ready, NO, i'm waffling on about how much I hate TIME.  Now this fights with my inner control freak.  Luckily she is being sat on by my inner neat freak. Its being controlled I hate, yet  when the INF is around every minute is counted and controlled.  I don't wear a watch (I do have one but its and two others are laying in a dusty pile requiring new batteries  - the watches require batteries not the dusty pile).  I force myself to write things in a diary, this is where having an inner control freak comes in handy, she's the one that writes the lists on the fridge door and in my bag. 
I will not let my life be governed by TIME. I will do things in my TIME and my time runs slow.
Unfortunately time went quick this morning and I now have to run around like a headless chook to get ready for my day out in the big city. 

Jan

easters on its way

I cannot believe it,  yesterday a friend came over for coffee and brought Hot Cross Buns. Woolies have Hot Cross Buns in already. 

I had a reasonable sleep last night, not like the night before where I itched and scratched the night away.  A friend said it could be something in the water since all the flooding, extra chemicals to keep it clean I suppose.  So last night I went to bed unshowered.  Good job I sleep alone LOL.  No itching. So maybe I might pop into the council offices tomorrow and check with them.  I'll shower tonight and see whats happens overnight.  I had rather a rude awakening this morning. After being manoevered to the other side of the bed by the dog I slept good then woke to the sound of mowers and whipper snippers and the birds giving it their all. I rolled over and suddenly realised there wasn't any bed behind me, I managed to throw myself back on the bed.
BigW had a sale on and my dear friend bought me a big beautiful soft bath sheet, purple.
So I'm going to nip off now and jump in the shower and then wrap myself in my new big fluffy towel - simple pleasures.

Day 4 of a bright new year

We got the rains about 5 mins after I went and started up the mower for the second time. I was attempting to do a straight line. As we have no fences up between the properties it makes it difficult. I usually start off from the back fence line post and aim for a trellis that is on the fence line half way down the gardens. I think I do alright and then when I look back I see this very wavy line - and thats when I'm sober.  The rains came down all of a sudden - the washing, oh no it will be nearly dry. The mower and I rush to the washing which is in front of the shed, i turn off the mower and throw open the shed door with one hand while stretching out with the other to grab stuff off the line. The wind slams the shed door shut just as I am pushing the mower in, I then realise the mower is still going, its jammed in the on position.  One more attempt to get the mower and washing both in at the same time, I stretch out one leg to keep the door open while i push the mower in, a huge gust of wind comes and blows the Hills hoist around while I am still holding on to a doona cover.  I am quite sure I heard tittering and giggling from further down the back gardens.  Exit one mad woman muttering under her breath about the universe conspiring against her.

I did achieve a lot yesterday, i managed to get some crocheting in as well.  Attempting to do either a dragon or a dinasaur.  At first it was going to be a dragon, then I pulled it back and its now a dinasaur, not sure what sort.  An amigurumisaurus probably.  I am writing the pattern down as I go, not like before where I was too motivated to write anything down and just ploughed straight ahead. I just had to do it, hook flying, no time to write.

But now I am organised and I mean to go on that way (famous last words I know, but this time I mean them - honest).

With this lingering chest infection I have not been eating properly, food tastes like cardboard.  So my cupboards are still well stocked, the little freezer is full of frozen veggies and meat and I have a few tins of stuff.  This means that I really don't need to shop for a while except for probably bread,  milk and eggs. I only go through 2 1/2 litres of milk a week at the most and maybe one loaf of bread.  My challenge for myself is to not go food shopping unless I really need to for the whole month of January.  I have two big bills coming up and I need to put petrol in the car and thats about it. 

I get to go into town this morning to see my job network advisor, I'll do what I can while I am in town, get my walk in, stock up on some craft supplies, check out the op-shops for some china plates with pretty designs on, visit the library and stock up on books and pootle off home for coffee with a friend.  The dog still needs to be washed and I have to iron and then vacumn.  Busy, busy day.

jan

Clearing out......

Day three of the new year and I have tried to do something each day so that when the end of the day is on me I can sit back and actually see that I achieved something. The files caught my attention.  So here I sit surrounded by old letters, bills and receipts, warranties for things no longer in my possession and old envelopes.  Two bags of paper ready for the fire. 

The sun is shining at last, so I've done a load of washing and the dog is going to get a flea bath.  I'm even considering starting up the mower.  Even if I just do around the house it will be an achievement, ripping a few weeds out on the way, sweep up some leaves and trim a few bushes..............getting carried away with myself there.  But thats what seeing the sun does for you after seemingly weeks of grey skies and drizzle. 

Well two hours later, the washing is blowing in the wind and part of the lawn is mowed and a whole heap of weeds and grass pulled out from around the raised veggie plot.  I've had my lunch and I'm just about to pounce on the dog or I might just go and do a bit more mowing.  It will probably be raining in an hour. We get the monsoon rains in the afternoons.

Jan

This year I will be pondering on this quote before I purchase, feel or think anything.  I will be looking at what I have in my life now and what I would like in my life.  Do the things I have in my life make me happy............Yes, they do.  For the past year the op-shops have benefited from me disposing of all the material things in my life that no longer gave me joy.

Friends , well, my friends are probably one of the most precious things in my life and they make me very happy.  Everyone of them is unique and they each bring their own specialness to my life.

Family, I love my family.  My sons, daughter-in-law and my wonderful little grandgirls. Sometimes they turn up when I'm not really in the mood for them, but my mood is always lifted by the time they leave.

My creativity.  This gives me great joy.  Though at the moment my joy is slightly diminished because of a block.  I am sure though that that tiny spark that is still there will not go out and blaze fiercely once again.

My spirituality.  I do not follow any organised religions.  I worship where I stand at any particular moment.  I feel the grace of God all around me, be it in the frozen food aisle of Coles or a misty morning by the lake.  I believe in the laws of attraction and the golden rule.

MY home.  Its not perfect but it protects and provides a warm, safe, welcoming environment for all that visit.  I am happy with everything in it and if I am not then I try to improve or remove.  It gives me joy.

Me.  Heres the deal breaker.  I'm daggy, saggy and baggy, frumpy, greying, bulging, stuck in a rut.  Thats what I am unhappy with - ME.  So do I remove or improve.  Well since the angels are not ready to remove me just yet I guess I'd better improve.
I used to think I was happy being who I am - funny, a good friend, caring, honest, faithful etc etc etc, but there is always something holding me back. Yes, I am overweight but it really hasn't stopped me from doing anything I have wanted to do. If I really wanted to throw myself out of a plane then I wouldn't have let my weight stop me. 
How will I improve ME.

1.  Lose some weight - I lost 4 kgs  before christmas, I haven't overeaten but those kg's and two extra ones have appeared on the scales.  I haven't been doing the same amount of walking I used to do though due to a numb foot and pains in my leg.  Waiting to see a doctor over that.  So on the good days I will try and walk a little more, maybe eat slightly less. 

2.  Get my greying, frizzy, long hair sorted. 18 months ago I had a really nice cut, the best one ever, it was easy to manage and my hair looked good.  I felt good.  Time to feel that way again I think.

3.  My clothes.  If I find something that is comfortable I wear it to death.  I hate buying new stuff. I always shop at op-shops or sales.  So, I'm going to go out once a month and buy something NEW and pretty and something that makes me happy. 

These three things are enough to get me started. I am not going to stress over the weeks when I lose nothing, I am not going to stress over my hair or my clothes. I am not going to stress over LACK.                                                                                                       

 I am happy with my lot in life.  I choose to live my life  in joy and gratitude.

Jan

So I changed my mind.......

OKay so maybe it is a bit premature for Easter.  I was playing around with photo's and thought a section of a china plate would look nice.  It'll do for now.

Yesterday I didn't get out of my baggy daggy sleeping t-shirt, I thought perhaps now would be a good time to though.  Start the year as you mean to go on........daggy and laid back without a care in the world.

I cleared out my files in my emails.  Got rid of lots of junk I no longer need in there.  1000 emails I had been saving in some file or another. Of course it took twice as long cos I had to read some on them.  Right back to 2006. Boy was I young and naive then HA HA HA, I wish. I'd have to go back to before 1970 for that.

I need inspiration, my creativity is well and truly stuck, I need to do 6 dolls pretty soon for a friends  window display. 

I'm also stuck over wether I should start doing the markets, dragging myself out of bed early is no problem, its the motivation I need to commit and following through.  Its the same with the magazines - I just can't get the motivation to follow through with my ideas.

My ideal life would be to have enough money to not worry about the bills and to live comfortably, not to have to worry about centrelink ruling my life, to be able to do what I want, when I want and to not have to worry about anyone else but myself and to do what I love doing.  I seem to be waiting for something to happen all the time. I'm in limbo with everything in my life.  I know I should use this quiet time to reflect and go within, meditate and heal but even that side of my life is in Limbo. 

Lunch time, left over ham salad I think with crusty bread and then get out of this towel and get dressed.

Jan

OOPS

Just realised the picture I put up is an Easter themed one.  Oh well, I suppose I've beaten Coles, Woolies and Big W in getting out their Easter goodies already.  Tough, cos its staying.

Today I got rid of christmas, I got myself organised for once. Everything went in their correct boxes. The antique decs all went together.  I photographed how the new tree lights came in their little plastic carry box, could I get them back in there the right way, I think they should include a dvd on how to do it.  I was so proud of myself ib putting everything away - normally I'm finding things I've missed for weeks after. I was telling this to my friend on Skype and then looked to the right and there in one of the plant pots was a little felt button tree I had placed next to the plant.  It can stay there - pretty soon the plant will cover it up and its green anyways so it will be camoflaged. 

Prayers to all those further south.  The floods are the worst ever.  Its heartbreaking to watch the news and see all those people who have been affected by them.  All this water and half the country is still in drought.

Jan

A day of reading

.................not the pile of library books I quickly grabbed just before the library closed for christmas or the local free rag with its first christmas baby pics and who did what on christmas day.  But blogs. I'm off blog tripping again.  I've gone to the first blog on my dashboard, then gone to the first blog on her blog list, then the second blog on their blog list and the third and so it will go on.  This way I get to read blogs that I wouldn't normally go to.

Yesterday I mooched around, I slept away half the day, read for a bit, did 30 sudoku puzzles, had a sandwich, slept some more, had another sandwich and then went to bed.  I was so out of sorts it was not a nice feeling.  I think because this year has been such a rushed affair, always having something to do, somewhere to be that this period of inactivity is killing me, I can't sit quietly and just do nothing (well, maybe for one day I can just about manage it). I am so restless, I couldn't settle to do anything (or want to) .
I've decided that I am going to paint the kitchen cupboards an off white, leaving the tops polished wood (Beautiful Queensland Maple).  That will be summers project. 
I'm dangerous when I am bored.

I suppose I'd better fess up about my christmas present from the boys.   Not exactly pretty,
but very functional, white goes with everything.   Okay, so it wasn't what I imagined I would be getting,  I suppose I'll have to buy myself the gorgeous ceramic shabby chic measuring cups and spoons I'd been hinting about for weeks.  It looked promising as they gve it to me, big and nicely wrapped.......okay, I'm getting to it.   A TOILET CISTERN, yes you heard right.   My loo has been playing up for a while, I have to fill the cistern with water from a bucket, water spurts everywhere from a faulty valve which they were told couldn't be replaced, the whole cistern would have to be new.  So they bought me a new water saving cistern - 6 litres for a full flush and 3 for a wee.   Now all I need is a nice man to fit it for me. 

Oh yes, and we got a cyclone for christmas day. Only a little one, lots of wind and rain but not much damage.  Plenty of flooding around, all the roads to down south cut off which means road transport can't get up north. Shelves pretty bare in the shops, not that I want to venture out. I did go over to my eldests for our festive bacon butty barbi, it looked like the river had gone over at one stage, judging by the amount of debris on the road. The river was running thick and brown just under the bridge so I didn't hang around too long at my sons. 

Better go get dressed and try and get something done today. 

Jan

Prospect of a new job

I enquired at one of the 'boutique' accommodation places in the village to see if they had any job vacancys going. They got back to me last night and want to see me today.  So my resume is titivated and tweaked and off I'll go shortly.  I am easy as to wether theres an opening for a cleaner or admin work.  If I can get 15 hours a week I will be over the moon no matter it is.

I started this update 3 hours ago. I've been down the road to the cottages for an interview and I am now the relief housekeeper.  Its just covering for when the owner has to be away, not a lot of work but anything is gratefully accepted.

I spent all this morning working on a presentation for the position of Chocolatier at the Coffee Works. Now wouldn't that be a great job to do.

Jan

Christmas Markets

Our village had its christmas markets on sunday and I shared a stall with a friend. I made up lots of of little packets of my crocheted flowers and took a few dolls as well.  The flowers were a great hit, all the brooches sold, lots of interest in the dolls but the only one to go was the pink fluffy teddy which I did a straight swap for a yellow retro colander from a Vintage and Retro stall. 
The markets are a great way to catch up with everyone and I get to chat with people I don't see all that often.  One friend told me about a shop that had changed owners and that I should go and see if she would take my things.  So this morning off I pootled into town and lo and behold it was an old friend of mine, we had actually worked together in a craft shop many years ago.  She was interested in some of the flowers and after seeing the photo's of the dolls she ordered 6 for a front window display. 
So my fingers will be flying this christmas, no rest for the wicked. 
I've had a chest infection for the past few days, my head feels like its going to fall off every time I cough and I also wish I'd kept up with those pecky pelvic floor exercises. Its a bugger having to quickly cross my legs every time I have a coughing fit.  I've not felt like eating anything and besides all food tastes like cardboard at the moment.  The dog has started to sleep under the bed again - I think she was fed up of being kicked off every five minutes with all my tossing and turning. 
Its so hot and muggy here, thunders been rolling round the skies all afternoon, we didn't get any rain from it but the sky was black over Malanda way.
I'm off to see if I can find a tin of chicken soup anywhere in the house, I just feel like some Campbells chicken noodle soup.

Jan

Blue skies

We got a bit of thunder and heavy rain yesterday but not much. Say  prayers for all those down south in central and southern queensland and new south wales who are copping some heavy falls and flooding. 

Blue skies brought out the neighbours and their mowers and I even got out there and ripped a few weeds out.  So glad i already did my mowing when it was overcast and a lot cooler, its a scorcher of a day today.

I didn't find one thing at the garage sales yesterday or at the second chance shop, very disappointing.  I decided to unearth the barbeque table from under a season of leaf fall and mouldy flower heads. Its been used as a potting table as well. Its been scrubbed and is now in the sun drying out, I'll give it a coat of O'Cedar and it'll be as good as new and will fit nicely in the craft room.  I have a couple of metres of green felt which should go over the top and will stop the beads from rolling around and then I can start getting creative. 

Matt came round for a hair cut, his hair (like his fathers) is a dirty blond and is prone to get curly if it is left too long between cuts, its very soft hair as well and thick.  The clippers were oiled and tested and off I went.  The last time I did it they cut out half way through, but with fingers crossed (his not mine) I ploughed through it all. Just a number four and it looks okay.  Of course he fidgeted and there were bits I missed but he was eager to go jump in the lake for a swim before the tourists got there.  He's a big boy now (23) and he can use his razor to trim the bits I missed.  He sniffed out the bacon in the fridge so of course we had bacon butties for a late breakfast.  Luckily for me he didn't notice the last blueberry muffin or the choc chip cookies, speaking of which I'm going to go make myself a coffee to go with the muffin and the cookies.

Uhru.

Jan

Webbed Feet.....

We are being teased with the weather, the sun comes up and dries up all the rain and then off it goes again.  Its misty this morning, the trees around the garden waiting for that sun to burn off their shrouds.  Birds are singing their little hearts out in anticipation. I'm waiting for a patch of blue sky before I venture out, I want to see what the day will be like before I make any plans.  I really feel like garage saling, but this apathy is weighing me down.  Its no fun on your own and my friends don't seem to have the same passion for it as I have (or rather -HAD).  I have had three jobs this past week to do so I have a bit of spare cash, I have another cleaning job to do after next weekend and I get paid for the two mystery shops I did last week next Friday.  I'm only spending around $50 a week on groceries and I've cut down on my petrol now TAFE has finished - $20 worth for about 9 days.  Two of the mystery shops involved buying gifts which I get to keep so I made sure they were things I could give to friends.  I'm not worrying over money, when I need, it comes in in unexpected ways. 
I have a necklace to make for a friend to give as a gift, I'm trying to get myself into jewelry making mood.  I want to use earthy colours and semi-precious stones with silver findings.
My very empty craft room is in need of a table to use as work station. I've been crocheting up a storm creating brooches which I can't finish till I get the back pins I ordered, so I need to do something to keep the creativity going.   Perhaps I should go garage saling this morning in a search for a table. 
Mist has cleared slightly, but still no signs of anything blue above me.  I'll get myself dressed and breakfasted, work out my budget and make a list of sales from the two local papers.  The thrill of the hunt is on.

Jan

Wet and wild weather.......

We've been having some pretty amazing late afternoon storms these past few days.  I just love to turn off the lights and sit in the dark watching the lightning fork across the sky.  The thunder literally shakes my little cottage.  The dog gets as close to me as she possibly can, scrunching up between me and the side of the chair, sometimes she attempts to burrow behind me - its a good job she's only a mini foxy.

I've been quite creative, making up some crocheted flower brooches. I had a foray into the world of scrapbooking the other day whilst looking for some cardstock to attach the flowers to.  I know I said I never ever would venture into scrapbooking but it is slowly sucking me in.  My friend burst out laughing when she saw I'd bought some scrapbooking supplies and refused to believe me when I said it was for the brooches.  It is, honestly.

I needed to find some cellophane bags I remember storing somewhere - 5 hours, 3 bags of stuff for the op-shops, 6 bags of rubbish, 3 nice and tidy wardrobe shelves and 1 cleaned out cupboard later I still haven't found them.  And in the interval,  lattes and chocolate marshmallow Santa's with a friend who called in.  I  keep going in my bedroom and opening the wardrobe - nicely folded blankets and sheets, all my underwear in little baskets, I even have floor space in there now, everything neat and tidy.  Not sure how  long it will stay that way.  I even found a pair of hand towels I bought.  I was only thinking the other day I needed new hand towels, I have a vague recollection of buying them before last christmas to embroider for a friend. 

I also found a pair of dungaree shorts that my youngest wore to a fancy dress party when he was three.  I made up some little fabric slugs and snails and sewed them all over the shorts, with a cute little slug peeking out of the pocket.  There was a baseball cap that went with it that I sewed a few little puppy tails on to.  I wish I had taken a photo of him at the time, he was not a happy little boy.  He's nearly 22 now, I wonder if he remembers.

Storms brewing up again, best get off the puter.

Jan


PS NOrma, I've been checking out that etsy blog, very interesting, I keep finding more and more information.

PPS. Vicky, you can come over here and cook me soup and make me pies anytime.

Just like Willie........

I'm back on the road again.  Finally after three weeks my car is fixed, first they had to wait for the part, then the mechanics mom got very sick so he had to keep shooting off.
After two attempts at my Excel assesssment I had a diabetic meltdown, smack bang in the  middle of the second attempt.  I just walked out, I was shaking, headachey, confused (yes, well I know I'm like that normally but I was more so this time). I know what casued it - stress.   Stress over the exam, stress of having no money and all the bills coming in, stress over having to beg lifts off friends and reli's all the time.   I wasn't eating, I had no appetite and I wasn't looking after myself.
I gave myself a week to get back on track and if I couldn't get my level back to normal then I made a commitment to myself to go see the doctor. 
I went back to meditating every day, I put myself first, I sorted the bills out, stopped worrying over things I had little control over and I marked down everything I ate, I started to cook proper meals again.   I was given a third chance at correcting my assessment (I think I gave the tutor a fright) - it was so simple, even the tutor couldn't see the mistake that had caused all the hassle, once it was finally found and rectified everything fell into place.  My speed tests went down hill though, last week I just couldn't feel my fingers on the keyboard and this week was slightly better,the first three weeks of speed tests i was close to 40 words a minute at 99.7 accuracy so I'm happy.  Even with the mistakes and slowness this week and last week I'm still top of the class in speed.  They take the best two results out of 8.
So after a week of being good and careful with my diet and stress levels I am happy to say that my blood sugar levels have dropped to under 6 first thing in the mornings,  around 8 to 9 after meals, around 5 - 6 before a meal and I haven't hit a double figure.  I know when they get too low and always have a little snack after exertion.  I've mowed half the back lawn, the front garden and the nature strip this morning so its time for a coffee and a piece or fruit.
I'm going to watch a dvd (Hairspray) this arvy while I work out a pattern for the amigurumi robot.  I need to start up an Etsy shop for the patterns and finished dolls, but need to find a good tutorial on how to do it, has any one got any hints and tips on how to be successful.

Jan

Quiet Saturday

The weeks are flying by, I'm settling down into my alone life. I'm finally getting some sort of routine going.  Up early in the mornings, take advantage of the coolness and doing a bit of housework.  Catching up with my emails and then off to TAFE for the day.  Theres not much cleaning or tidying up to do - things stay where they are put.

Things have gone slightly awry this week though. I've sailed through spreadsheets, I love Excel.  I do my assessment next week.  Well, that is if I can get my car fixed.  It chose to break down in the supermarket car park yesterday late afternoon - it seems to have a thing for breaking down in the car park at IGA.  I managed to ring No.2 son just before my phone battery died.  He came and got me and took me and the shopping home.  Then he went round to his older brothers and they went to get the car.  Luckily No.1 son knows someone with a breakdown truck. It was 7.30 before they got home.  Looks like its going to be a big job.  I have no money to get it fixed for the next few weeks.  I was worrying over getting one more portfolio done on my certificate course before TAFE finishes at the beginning of December.
I wasn't sure wether i had time to fit another one in.  If I can't get my car back on the road within the next couple of weeks then my problem is solved till next year.  I'm doing the OHS part online so thats no problem and I think I can get a lift next week on one day so I can do my assessment.  I've got some practice exercises to do over weekend to prepare myself. 
Wednesday, I don't go to TAFE so I get all the big stuff done at home, vacumming, mowing, ironing etc.  The side lawn needed doing badly so I waited for the sun to go in and I shot outside and fired up the mower.  I then decided since who knows when we would get another fine day I lowered the blades and did the rest of the lawns, they could have been given a miss till next week but while I had the energy I did them.  I left a small area near the car and intended to move the car and mow but took the opportunity to have a cuppa. A friend rang and asked if he could borrow the mower. He came and took it and fetched it back the next day.  I've just finally finished the one last strip (probably as big as my mums whole garden back in the UK.  The mower sounded absolutely sick as anything, chugging and huffing and puffing, threatening to die at any moment.  I wonder if the friend put the wrong petrol in.  So now I wait for the third thing to go break down.  I used the electric leaf blower very carefully with fingers crossed. I am sooooooo dangerous with that thing, never ever stand near me when I am using it.  I've blasted the poor dog across the verandah and decapitated flowers.
Its our villages centenary celebrations today, I think I'll stay home, I'm feeling very anti-social at the moment.  I just want (and need) to relax.  I've a good book to read and some sewing to do.......oh yes that reminds me.  I was told yesterday arvy that my DIL needed a cape making for Halloween.  No.1 son went home after dropping my car off and went back and got the family.  So nine last night I was quickly making a witches cape.  Its been so long since I used my sewing machine it took a while to get all the dust out of it. I also discovered I had a go faster switch for  straight stitching.  I had grandkids running around (eating all my biccys). So now the machine is out and running I'll get a few sewing jobs done.....they've probably been in the sewing pile for a couple of years and the UFo list.  It might even get me motivated. 
Well I've spent long enough on the puter, I've got a few dirty jobs out in the garden that need finishing so I'll go and get those out of the way and then get cleaned up for an afternoon of stitching.

hugs, love and light

jan

Rain, Rain go away......

Its done nothing but drizzle for the past few days. Grey dreary days. We feel like we are back in winter, not spring.  Its the annual Yungaburra folk festival and the little town is buzzing.  I feel sorry for the poor campers, my neighbour rang and asked me to open up their holiday home for them as friends of theirs should have been camping but its just too wet and they asked if they could use their place as a refuge from the storm.

The nice weatherman just told us they we are going to get a bad cyclone season - oh great.  I'll have to send one of the boys up on the roof to check everythings okay up there, start cutting trees down that are near the house and make the shed secure for all the power tools. We don't usually get the cyclones in our area till after christmas but its better to be prepared early.

I'm struggling to get back into crafting again, I've had a week or two not doing anything and I just can't get back into the swing of things.  My patterns are selling and people are asking for new ones so I need to get my finger out.  All I seem to be doing is homework and going back and forth between the TAFE college and home.  My brain just seems to switch off once I get home and all I want to do is go collapse in the chair and watch tv with a cup of coffee.

I suppose it will all come good soon.  I need something to fire up the passion in me again. I haven't done any embroidery for ages, once I would embroider well into the early hours once the bug got me.  But then it had a purpose - I needed to destress after looking after my hubby, something to take my mind off the endless doctors visits and treatments, it soothed my mind and soul and I could lose myself for a few hours in the peace and quiet of a dark night.
Now I have to find that passion again.

Life seems to be in limbo, I feel like I am waiting for something big to happen. There is this intense feeling that I can't seem to shake off.  I can't move forward.  I know I should just ride it out patiently, that this pause is serving a purpose. But I've never really been a patient one.

Depending on what the weather is like tomorrow I might push myself to venture out garage saling.  I have this urge to rummage through old things and find a bargain, I need a project that doesn't involve hook, needles, threads and wool.

One one of my quiet places, a pleasant place to sit and watch the pelicans float by.  I take myself off and just sit by the water with a book or just let myself chill out. 

Jan

Thank you Cuz

So now I know, funny i can't think of a body part that rhymes with pluto.......I do know which one you mean though, ha ha.

Yesterday I went to market, it was only to be a short trip, in and out with veggies and seedlings.  I saw a gorgeous bromeliad that I had recently admired at the garden show, I ummed and r'd. It was $13, there was another i liked as well for $5 with an unusual flower, I couldn't afford the two. The $13 one won but then at the last minute I said bugger it I'll have them both.  This meant I had no money for veggies but the call of the brom was too strong and I never really treat myself anymore.
Walking back to the car outside the park what should blow across my feet but a brand new $5 note. There was nobody around and there was no wind blowing.

I've never been a fan of broms but they are growing on me - mainly cos they are easy to grow, don't need much mainenance and they are easy to propogate.  I'm all for easycare gardening at the moment.  Things that seed themselves, ones that thrive on neglect.  I have a couple of friends that are into them as well so theres always swappsies for the pups. 

The sun has decided to come out again, I want to see if I can finish off the mowing of the back lawn. Theres never a son around when you want one, perhaps I should bake a cake or some biscuits - they always turn up then, or maybe I'll settle in to do some craft instead, guaranteed one of them always turns up.   But knowing my luck I'll just be putting the mower away and thats when they will come round.

Well I'm off to make hay while the sun shines.

Jan