Procrastination

Oh dear, I have a deadline....end of April and the end of April is easter, so it has to be a deadline the week before easter.  I do not feel like doing anything.  My get up and go packed its bags and left for a holiday in a dryer climate.  This constant drizzle and miserable weather is just draining the life out of me.  Come on Sun I know you are are there.

I have plants to put in - up and out of bed at 6.30 and out to the market two towns over to pick up some promised eggplants seedlings, it was wet and muddy and I didn't feel like going so it was straight there and back.  I suppose they will sit in their pots next to the coriander seedlings I bought last weekend, waiting for me to get my act together and get them planted.

The snowmen (deadline items) are in snowballs still waiting construction, then I came up with another idea and of course had to drop everything to do that - and of course that is now waiting to be finished.

I have the beginnings a new love life if I can stop making excuses why I can't have one right now.

I need to get a new career, but thats been put on hold cos I now have carpal tunnel in my wrists and in my elbow, so that sort of puts paid for me looking at admin or clerical work, its also slowed down the craft work.  I think carpal is slightly better than the neuropathy from the diabetes that it could have been but isn't.

So, rather than move forward, I've stuck everything in the too hard basket and am now sat here procrastinating.

I know how to get myself out of it, I know I have a problem and I know how to deal with it,
I have all the tools necessary in my life to move forward.  I am the Queen of Self Sabatage, my life is going good and its like 'okay I know something bad is going to happen soon so I'll just stop now so I won't be disappointed', 'if I make the effort in this new relationship and then something goes wrong and it doesn't work out then I will get hurt, so I'll just finish it now to save all that pain'....... you see where I am going with this.

OK, rant over. Thats feels better.  Now to go and push myself to do something, maybe knock down a few of these barriers I've built up around myself.

Jan


PS: One of the things I did last week (Friday) was have all my hair cut off...........and I had a few streaks put in.  I went into the hairdressers and she did it there and then , no procrastinating. If I had gone home and thought about it I would have chickened out.
So look out for the new photo coming soon. I can have my hair straight or allow it to be its normal wavy self. The straight style sort of needs to grow on me a bit, and she's cut it so that the silver wings blend in with the streaks.