Okay who turned the sun off

I awoke from weird dreams to the sun streaming in the window, I snuggled down under the covers for 15 more minutes in dreamland and when I resurfaced it was dark, miserable, windy and drizzling with not one little itty bitty patch of blue to be seen anywhere. Oh dear thats means I won't be able to mow the lawn or clean windows (like I was going to do them anyway LOL).
Looks like I'll have to stay in the warm and crochet lots more lovely flowers, after yesterdays depressing mood and post I need to brighten up a bit. 

This is the bunting I made after I was inspired by the wonderful and talented Alice at Crochet with Raymond, this is definately top on my blogs to drool over list, she has a great way with colour.  The tie-backs on the drapes are my design, just a rose attached to a white crochet band with a button and loop at the back, I found some silk leaves and wove the stems around the stitches on the band at the back. The bunting doesn't live in my bedroom, its just that the light was better on that side of the house. I might put it up in the guest bedroom when I finally get it painted and new drapes put up.
But first before I can get back to creating I have to scan the jobs, I wish I could make some money at this crafting lark, I think I would have to hook and stitch my fingers to the bone though to make a living at it.  I thought of an etsy or madeit shop or even on facebook, Is it possible to actually make a living doing it that way.  I need at least $250 in my hand after tax a week to be able to continue the way I am. I have no mortgage to pay and the usual electric,gas, rates, petrol, food and other living expenses which I have pared down to a minimum.  I am cleared to work 14 to 20 hours a week, no heavy lifting. As soon as I mention the health problems prospective employers aren't that eager to take me on.  I can't lie about it and I am always upfront and honest.  So short of finding a rich man (or any man) or winning the lottery its up to me to get out there and find something.  My housekeeping job is coming to an end this week as the owners of the house I clean have decided to rent it out short  term out till the holiday season picks up, the mystery shoppy job  is only a few hours a month if that. 
I suppose rather than talking about it I better start looking and getting some resumes sent out.

Jan

July Update

 July is nearly at an end and I am proud of what I have achieved this month.  I'm on top of my bills, everything is falling into place, my family are all ok, I'm sleeping at night and I'm busy creating pretty pretties. I'm happy with my life as it is.

So what are my August goals:

1) To continue to create - flowers, hearts, pigs, dolls and      whatever takes my fancy.
2) To continue to keep those bills under control.
3) To find a job.
4) To start some new volunteer work.
5) Walk more, eat less and get out more into the garden.
6) To socialise more, meet new people.
7) Do one thing that I would not usually think of doing - climb out of the square box I've been hiding away in this year.

8) To get my stash down
9) Make something different, try a new craft
10) and best of all - Be Nice to Myself, I'm not to feel guilty when I treat myself.

A few of these things go hand in hand, I'm starting to be reclusive again, I like my own company and sometimes I get a bit stingy with my time and resent other people wanting it. I need to get out there and share.  I need to look at new ways of doing things and new ways of thinking.  I'm not exactly in a rut but I know if I let myself it would be very easy to dig myself into one.  This year has been a year of looking at things differently. Two new hair cuts and a colour change in 4 months, a new wardrobe, wearing purple nail polish (even on my toes), playing the pokies (only once and I found it boring) and spending money on myself - its all been an eye opener year so far.
I have always marched to a different drum than every one else and yet these past couple of years I got 'normal'. Or did I finally grow up.

Jan

Purple pigs

I ran out of pink yarn and I was soooo into making pigs.  I might even make a green one.
My bedroom is bedecked with garlands and bunting and my very tidy craft room is starting to creep back to being a mess again as I search for colour combinations for triangle grannys. I wasn't going to buy anymore yarn but looks like I will have to, oh dear what a shame.
I have the banner to make for the market stall, well the banner is made, Jude dropped it off yesterday now I have to do my part and decorate it with crochet chain stitch wording and crochet flowers. I have to clean next door ready for the new tenants next week and see a friend for her birthday and then rush into town for an appointment.  No rest for the wicked aye.. So I'm taking five and writing up a post before I start the big rush around.
The sun is shing so as the weather is so unpredictable at the moment I stripped the bed and now have lines full of bedding blowing in the wind.  I love the smell of line dried sheets. I just hope the cockies leave me out of their flight path. They are currently stripping the orange and kumquat trees of what fruit there is left.  Its all right the council getting rid of them out of the Mabi rainforest but where do they go - the towns, wrecking havoc there and destroying trees.  I'm all for nature and the wildlife but I wish the council would think about these things before they do them.  Now we have the flying foxes - so much of their habitat has gone thanks to the  recent cyclones and storms.   The Hendra virus has raised its ugly head again and thankfully there has only been one horse dead from it up here in our area. I noticed there are more and more flying foxes coming into the towns for food.  I had bat poo on my car roof which means they are in the kumquats and bananas at night.

Well better get off and make a start before the afternoon runs away from me.

J

OKay so I hate cleaning the oven more than anything.....

..........I buckled down and sorted all my yarn out, tidied my desk and table and crammed every nook and cranny with yarn. The next few days will see me finish a couple of orders then I'm going to tackle more brooches and garlands.  Winter will soon be over here such as it was, I'm already thinking of spring garlands and light colours.
The portuguese chicken is sending out the most delicious smells, lets hope its tastes as good as it smells. 
I feel very satisfied that the craft room is tidy, lets see if I can keep it that way, though for those of you that know me I can hear you you know, i can read minds......... ROTFPML.

I had a break from the cleaning and went and mowed half of the back lawn until I ran out of petrol, pulled a few weeds, raked up a few leaves.  Its amazing what a bit of blue sky and sunshine does for one. 

You know, I think I'll go and sit on the back verandah now with a glass of wine.

J

My name is Janet and I am addicted.........

.................to yarn, threads and crochet.  Here I sit in my chair, surrounded by my addiction, this is actually quite tidy for me.  The TV remote close at hand, my coffee cup hidden by the arm of my chair, the biscuit crumbs vacummed up by the dog.

My big table and my desk , again I had a quick tidy up, see the long cloth covering the table, hahah - thats hides everything underneath. Which reminds me of a little story when we first came here - we lived in a half built house in the middle of the rainforest, wooden floors with big cracks in between - perfect for sweeping all the rubbish through and since it was a high set all the dust and everyday muck went back to where it had come from in the first place, the only problem being if there was someone underneath at the time of sweeping.  Nowadays in my little low set I just sweep everything out the back door and hide the big stuff under tables and beds.

 Under the table is 4 boxes full of yarn from my stash.

This is also quite tidy, bags of yarn still to be unpacked, boxes - I also have an addiction to boxes, I buy them and just throw stuff in, then stick the lid back on and I don't have to look at it.  All my embroidery threads, beads and findings are in these boxes on the shoe rack and would you look at that, another bag of yarn bits and a box full of yarn and hidden behind it all is another bag of yarn and unfinished projects.

Oh dear, this is what happens when you just don't think.  All this yarn is what I bought after I had made a vow not to buy any more yarn till I got my stash down, this is all the stuff that won't fit in the boxes (yes Boxes).  I have a 50 ltr box that is crammed full of yarn or I did have, I now have 4 20 ltr boxes full as well and will have to buy a few more to accomodate all the new stuff.  Considering the 50 brooches I've made, the 6 flower garlands, at least 15 pr of mittens and hats in the past two months I've got it down a lot else i would have had to take 4 pictures to get it all in.  Now my friend tells me there is a yarn sale on.  Please, please someone come and tie me to something heavy, take away my car keys and wallets, hide my cards, put a restraining order on me forbidding me going anywhere within 10 klms of a yarn shop.

Helppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp.........

J

Little things that give us pleasure....

For me - its a new pruning saw, such a pretty little thing, unfortunately they didn't have it in pink (but I'm going back for the pink secateaurs next week) so I had to get the green. Its blade folds up into the handle and it is so light to use.  Needless to say yesterday  I pruned every stray little branch in sight. I'm eying up my neighbours garden now. I wonder if the council would mind if I just pruned these trees a little!

My craft room is a mess, no - that is definately an understatement, it is a terrible mess, its the worst its ever been. I am ashamed with myself. I go in to grab some yarn and then beat a hasty retreat.  Today is Show Day, everywhere is closed, there is nothing to do, I shopped yesterday, I'm about to put a chicken casserole in the slow cooker, the rest of the house is clean, the plants are watered and I am sat here reading blogs. I've even cleaned out the microwave and the kettle.  This is avoidance tactics at their best - the oven really really needs cleaning and it is a job I hate but I would rather do that than venture into the craft room.

Everywhere is sooooo quiet, tooo quiet.   I know what we need - Meatloaf, Bon Jovi, Guns and Roses, Metallica. If I've gotta clean then I might as well have some loud music to go with it.

J

How very strange......

I wrote a post complete with piccys the other day and it has disappeared. I'd updated rantings and thought I'd better update here as well.  Gremlins again.

Oh well, I can't remember what I said so I'll make a new one.

Its showtime - for the first time ever I went to the Malanda Show, the rain held off (which is very strange). I really don't know wether its me being jaded or just everyone, the craft exhibits seemed lack lustre, nothing jumped out and said WOW, it seemed like no effort was made at all to do something different, it was the same old same old. Its the Atherton Show on Monday and I don't know wether to go to see if its the same, its usually bigger and a bit more showy.

Flowers are all over the house, blossoming their little hearts out, I just love making them or am I actually addicted to  making them - just a couple more before bed, just one more  to balance out the arrangement before I go to the shops, perhaps we'll see what this colourway will look like..............

They have brooch backs added, they are sewed onto hats and scarves, the lie scattered amongst the ornaments on the book cases, the bedroom curtains are adorned with them, my grandgirls wear them in their hair, my snazzy new market apron wears them, I might not have inherited my mums green fingers but I certainly inherited the love of flowers from her.

So what to do today, the day is quickly passing and only one pig made, my fingers are itching to do something new, winter doesn't last very long up here so I don't really want to make any more hats and mitts, though the mitts have been doing very well. I know the craft room is in dire need of tidying up, despite uttering somewhere in blogland that I would not buy any more yarn I have bought more yarn in the past 3 months than I have ever bought.

I do have three hats on order that I have to make and a couple of pairs of mitts, maybe I should do those this weekend and then thats all the winter stuff out of the way and I can start thinking about what to make next (and can I stick flowers on it)

Okay so I think maybe I'll go be creative for a while , uploading all these piccys has whetted my appetite, maybe just a few more for another garland, maybe I'll sew a couple on a pair of mitts...........mmmmmmmm, wheres the dog gone!

Long Weekend.....

....and I'm being lazy.  This long weekend we have had the Tour De Tablelands, bikes and lycra everywhere.  The roads are always horrendous with rolling road closures all weekend so I stay home and vegetate.  We also had the Peeramon Pig Hunt and the Tinaroo Regatta, so the last thing I wanted was to be sandwiched between a ute full of dead wild pigs and a heap of boaties which has happened in the past.
The weekend has been beautiful weatherwise, not too cold and not too hot, a bit overcast on saturday.
I've been busy crocheting flowers for garlands and earrings.  I bought more yarn from Spotty - I think I hit my record in there, 2hrs and 40 mins but I only spend just over $50. I treated myself to a couple of those cute cake tins they had in the sale. 
I also bought in a second hand shop a very cute telephone table, its been crackled in an off white with beautiful apple blossom flowers painted on. I tried to haggle but it didn't work, I'm happy with it anyway and now after 19 years the telephone finally gets a place to live (its been on a stool, before that it balanced on the arm of the sofa or on the floor)
We had out craft fix, our bling fix and then our kitchen fix and yes, I walked out of Robins Kitchen without buying one thing.  We actually made it home in daylight and had time to go food shopping (with what money we had left).
I forgot to ring up about my blood tests and I reckon if they had found anything they would have rang.  I'm not worried, I'm actually feeling quite good, I mean the memorys still full of holes and I have to write notes to myself all the time but otherwise I'm sleeping a lot better and I have more energy than I have had for a while - perhaps that could be due to the fact I'm actually cooking proper meals for myself again.
I cleaned out two cupboards yesterday and tackled the spare room which seems to be the junk room at the moment, it can't be used as a bedroom again till I get the floor fixed so we (me) just open the door and throw things in. I've sorted a few of the things out in there and stacked them in a pile and I've also put the girls toys in there, I've put stuff over the broken floorboards so the girls can use it has a playroom for the time being and my walking machine is in there.
Well, I have these two pretty cake tins empty, just crying out to be filled. Do I bake this arvy or do I sit and crochet and ignore their plea's?  Decisions, decisions.

As Usual........

yesterday my mind went off on one of its little jaunts. I was supposed to be working, I wanted to make an early start so I would be finished by lunch time and have the rest of the day to visit a friend.  Lunchtime saw me still in my jami's, hook and yarn flying furiously, sink of boiiling water ready and the carpet littered with multi-coloured orts.   The felted flowers have been a great success, the big and bold flowers with vintage bits added have been a success and hopefully the felted bird brooches that I have just created will be a success.
The flower swags/garlands are growing like, well, like a garden.  My mind refuses to stop creating, while I'm hooking away another idea pops in and I have to stop what I am doing and create whatever it is that needs to be created.

I really just want to be left alone with my hooks and my yarn stash, but unfortunately the world keeps creeping in and people and things demand my time.

I forgot my hospital appointment way back in April and had remade it for last week, I thought I was on top of things, it was in my diary, on my calender and then I lost a day, I had rescheduled everything that week to fit in this appointment, then the hospital phoned and asked where I was.  I showered, dressed and got to town in 30 mins.  I got the full ultra sound on my heart - working fine, grafts still holding up, blood pressure fine.  She was concerned about the breathlessness and tiredness and fatigue, so I had a iron store test, considering my memory (or lack of it) as well, I could be a bit low on iron. We'll see hopefully later today when the results should be back.  I think the memory worries me the most, I'm forgetting words in the middle of a sentence, forgetting peoples names, I know my mind is otherwise engaged at times but its gone beyond a joke now.

I had an unusual burst of energy yesterday afternoon and got the work I had to do finished in record time, I even had enough energy left over to make a 'proper' evening meal with enough left over for dinner tonight as well.  I put the washing away, I tidied up, watered the garden and sat down with the tele and my hooks and got started on making more birds.

Today the washing is done already, the house is tidy and nothing needs my attention. I do have to nip down to the chemist to get my script but that can wait till I go over to Malanda on my way to my friends.

I managed to get side-tracked yet again before I finished this post.  Felted 5 birds, checked the post, made the bed and looked for some yarn. 

Now at 10 a.m. I am having the porridge I cooked for my breakfast 3 hours ago.

J

Stash Busters

Since breaking my resolve and buying all that extra yarn I've been looking for quick and easy projects to use up some of the yarn that maybe was a wrong choice.  I've been doing mobius cowlettes (neck warmers).  I love mine, it was made in Spotlights Marvel 8 ply which is a thin 8 ply and not what I wanted for the amigurumi dolls, it works up beautifully using a 6.50mm hook, nice and lacey and drapes well.  No pictures yet though, I'm waiting for a model who doesn't have a double chin and turkey neck.  I've also made a few pairs of fingerless mittens, another quick and easy project, using a crochet rib and a smaller than usual hook and using Big W's 8 ply these cro up nice and firm and stretchy.  Then with all the left over yarns in my stash I've made small flowers and attached them to headbands, they look so pretty. I decided not to make all the felted and larger flower into brooches but will sell them seperately with a couple of leaves and people can make up their own minds where they stick them.  The girls claimed two - Stacey wanted the hugest pinkest rose and Jessica-Rose chose a dainty black rose with pearl centre. I'm waiting for them to come round so I can use them to model the headbands for a photo shoot, the photo I took yesterday doesn't really show them at their best.
For the past two days I have been creating, totally oblivious to the time.  I missed breakfast and lunch on both days, its been a long time since I've done that and yes I did enjoy it.
My craft room which I had finally managed to lick into shape is back to being a mess.  'A place for everything and everything in its place' seems to last for only a few days. Perhaps I should do a cross stitch or applique wall hanging to have hanging up so I see it every day.  Knowing me though somehow I really don't think it would work. 
July will be chilly Cheryl.  You might need some fingerless mittens and a neck warmer.

Excuse the bad quality of the photo, I'd forgotten to change the setting on the camera then the batteries died. 

Well my fingers are itching to get hooking again, funny the carpal tunnel hasn't played me up at all, my elbows a bit stiff though.  Just had another idea so off to get it into action.

J

Rosy Posy

In my quest for the perfect crocheted rose I have ended up with a rose garden blossoming all over the house, 60 roses in just over a week have graced my craft room.  I have perfected the rolled rose and the irish rose but my favourite is from the Hook Hound. I had made something very similar when I was designing the amigurumi dolls but couldn't quite get what I was looking for. I had made the base of the flower in a spiral but not into the back of the stitch.

I intend to make all the roses I made into brooches and am now searching out broken vintage jewelry to adorn the roses.  I cruised round all the Accessories shops looking at how the fabric flower brooches that they sell were finished off, they were all pretty tatty looking on the back, so I am not worried at all about the backs of mine, they look exceptionally neat compared to those in the shops.  I have felted some of the roses using a varigated yarn from Big Wand gives lovely look to the roses, especially as the colour runs. The outer edges of each petal tends to darken while the inner petals fade slightly.  The pink roses below were all done from the same ball.  I used up a fair amount of yarn from my stash, I found some gorgeous vintage kid mohair which I managed to make three roses from.   My stash, which at the start of the year I vowed to not buy any more yarn till i could get the lid on the box has now tripled to three boxes and if I buy more of the varigated yarn today will quadruple. I knew I couldn't do it. But the wool is so pretty and soft and it spoke my name, I couldn't leave it there.

My fingers are itching to get hooking but I have so much to do today.  Thursday I had a hospital appointment down on the coast, everything is okay, nodules on the thyroid have only grown a little bit and my thyroid is not misbehaving so I have a reprieve for another year. We hit Spotlight after the hospital and we spent over two hours in there, we certainly made up for the previous two visits where we only had 30  mins at the  most and came out spending under ten dollars, this time I went mad and spent over 50 dollars - well it was stuff I needed (honest).

I've been snuffly for the past two days, got lots of lemons ripe on the tree so I'll be making myself some hot lemon and honey - might even go to the Bottle shop and get a small bottle of whiskey (even though I hate the stuff).  It was 8 degrees at pre-dawn on thursday - I was out standing around in my jami's and sheepies looking at the planets......and yes you can say 'and you wonder why she has a cold'.   Not sure what it was that hurried past my feet as I was scanning the sky, it was dark coloured and definately not a cane toad.

Well I have a couple of hours work this arvy over in Mareeba, so better go get out of my jami's and get presentable. I want to get some shopping in as well while I am over there.The new fridge is bare as are the cupboards, the dog and I have been on left-overs all week.

Love and Hugs

Jan

potholes and speed bumps

Thats what my life feels like at the moment, not only is my path through life full of detours and dead ends but its also strewn with pot holes and speed bumps.
The new fridge scheduled to be delivered two weeks ago got badly damaged so I had to wait for another to be shipped up to the tablelands.  Then the thursday before easter they rang to tell me the new one was in but they couldn't deliver it till the next wednesday because they had sent all their trucks back down the mountain.  Finally today it came, the poor young man delivering it couldn't get the trolley over the edge of my kitchen step, slipped and the fridge fell on top of him.  No damage to him or the fridge but I had to go out the front door and round the back and push while he pulled and we eventually got it into the house.  I said I would unpack it and he went on his way.  New fridge in the house, half unpacked but I can't get it off the little pallet it is on.  So my old fridge chugs merrily still, dripping water everywhere and clunking and rattling every so often. 
One lot of guests checked in on friday and left early sunday,then new lot of guests were due to arrive at 2, which would give me plenty of time to do a full clean ready for them.  Sheets and bedding everywhere, washer going, dryer going, mop bucket in middle of floor, beds remade apart from one, towels in a wet pile waiting for the dryer. 10.30 and I stop for a coffee with my son and his family and share easter bunnies with the grandgirls, then i hear the door close next door, I rush over and there standing in the middle of all the mess is two new guests - You are not ready for us No.  "Does it look like it" I reply (how rude I sounded). I explain that they are not due to check in till two, they say 11.  Apparently they are not the ones who booked, I am expecting 4 adults and 1 child, No he says, its 7 adults and 1 child, No she says, its 8 adults and one child.  We don't have beds for that many. HELPPPPPPPPPPP.  I send them off for coffee and promise to get the house clean in an hour.  They come back within the hour with two other guests and sit quietly on the verandah waiting while little old me totally oblivious to them being there is muttering under my breath and cursing all and sundry because the damm king size feather doona refuses to lie still, a bulge appears in the middle like a dead body minutes after i made the bed, i push all the feathers to the bottom and put the towels on top in the hope that they will wait them down and keep them still.  As I leave the room I can see them gradually creeping up to the middle of bed. At this stage I really don't care anymore.
I phoned the owners who were holidaying down south and let them know what is going on. They have only paid for 4 guests, this is not on, I mustn't let the other guests in till they have paid up. I hand the phone to one of the guests who agrees to pay the extra money, the original bookee arrives with a face like thunder and demands to know what is going on. I say take it up with the owner and hand her the phone number.  All sorted, I agree to let them in and will go back and do the final cleaning and make up the futon bed in the office when they are out later that afternoon.  All happy, I smile and say if there is anything else they need just let me know - my customer service training finally getting used (Believe me despite being top in the class for customer service I hate dealing with the public)
I checked all my booking details the realtor sent me and it definately said 4 adults, checking in at 2.  I still haven't a clue how many stayed there. 
So today I have washed 20 sheets, 30 pillowcases, 20 towels, 16 washers, 4 bathmats, 10 t-towels and all my own stuff, I've had two washing machines going and one dryer. I now have to phone the owner and let them know that a wooden chair has been broken by the guests. 
After all that kerfuffle on sunday morning I went off later that afternoon for a cooked dinner at my sons new place, roast lamb cooked in a camp oven outside, the grandgirls and one of their uncles took off on the quad bike and motor bike, they have no fear. The eldest grand girl was disappointed grandma would not get on the back of the quad bike and go for a ride round the paddocks with her. She even promised to go slow - I've seen her go slow and its still to fast for me.  Afternoon turned to evening and we watched the stars come out, listened to the stone curlews and put the world to rights before my youngest took me home.  It was a nice relaxing end to a very hectic day.  I crawled into my bed still stinking of smoke from the fire but I didn't care.
Tomorrow I have one lot of washing to dry, fold and put away and that is that, the house is ready for the next lot of guests, I have to pay a bill, do a customer service assessment, fill a report out, report my earnings, shop, try and get the fridge off its pallet, weed, visit a friend, submit my invoice, and somewhere try and have a life.
I met a man - yes, you heard right. A MAN.  Only once, though we talk on the phone and text and email. We never seem to get free time at the same time. Lots of itty bitty things stop us from meeting up again. Is he the right one for me - don't know yet, we are opposites, he doesn't understand my sense of humour and I think he gets to uptight over simple things.  He's cute, blond, slim, hardworking and loves his dog, is that enough.
Saturday I did a market stall with my friend, didn't sell much but that didn't matter, it was a good day still.  I realised that the money i would make had no purpose, I had no intent for it, no bill to pay or shopping to do.  It was mine to do what I wanted with with no guilt attached.  So, I bought myself a pretty vintage apron, some honey  and a fancy tea infuser. 
So the pot holes and speed bumps are there to slow me down, to make me rest, to take stock of where I am and where I am going. I need them.  The detours make me see a different take on things.  I know I need patience in some things.  I handled the mix-up at the weekend well, I didn't panic. Despite me joking about it I think I handled it diplomatically.  At the market I didn't get upset that very few people wanted to buy what I had made, I enjoyed the day and the experience, sounds and colours of a very busy country market.  I got my kitchen clean ready for the new fridge, I washed walls and threw out old stuff from the cupboards.  I learnt that its okay to change my schedule, I can say No and not feel guilty. 
A long post - I know, but its probably going to have to  do you a week, read it slowly, in bits.  I'm now going to go make myself a cup of tea and a slice of toast, put my pj's on and curl up in bed with a book and the dog.

J

Finally...........

After much procrastination I got the patterns down. Everything should be winging its way soon.  I had a sudden burst of energy and whilst I had No.3 son to hand I made full use of him. Trimmed a few trees, weeded, moved rubbish, cleared and a dump run. Now I'm sat here picking splinters out.  I treated myself to a nice pale pink nail polish, I don't know why though, nearly every nail has been chipped and broken, not much left of them. 
Its rained off and on all day, woke to brilliant sunshine coming through the curtains and then by the time I'd got dressed and outside it was back to miserable again. I had a trip to the library and stocked up on chick books.  I'm struggling with The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I've had it a week and have only got about 50 pages in. 
Not sure wether its the kids next door running around the house, trucks going over the bridge outside town or thunder.  Judging by the colour of the sky it could very well be thunder. 
Okay, well thats me out of here, I'm off to pick out the rest of the splinters, get dressed and curl up with a gardening book.

Jan

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO

Snowpeople are finished..........patterns still to be typed out but all the notes are there ready to go.  Final three have been chosen for submission plus the snowbear.  Photo's of the chosen ones to be done shortly. The ones above are the prototypes, the chosen ones are way cuter.

procrastination yet again.

I am mooching round the house looking for things to clean, anything other than sitting down and crafting and getting those damm snowmen finished. I love doing them its just I can't bring myself to a) write out the pattern properly on the computer, b) sit down and waste time crafting the whole day.  What is wrong with me.  The house is full of snowballs that need to be assembled. Buttons need to be sewn on, carrot noses made.

I soaked all the sheets in the neighbours holiday home in bleach yesterday just to keep me occupied, i even vacummed behind things.  I'm considering getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the bathroom floor tiles and if it wasn't so wild and wet outside I'd think about getting out the ladders and cleaning the windows. 

Once upon a time, long before widowhood, heart attacks and by-passes I would have ignored the cleaning and the time. I would spend hours crafting and always felt guilty about leaving things undone.  Sometimes needles, threads and yarns had to be prised from my hands in the early hours, I was totally oblivious to the time.  Now I have time (and I know I have moaned about this many times before) I just can't get the motivation to use that time.
Perhaps I am hoping that I'm going to get an AHA! moment, that the light bulb is going to glow brightly, by writing my feelings down maybe I will see what is so obvious.

So......what am I going to do.   Bath the dog is what I am going to do, then fold sheets, then have a cup of coffee and read a few more blogs, then sort out my already sorted out kitchen cupboards, then prune a few plants, then sweep off the verandah, then maybe have another coffee, check my emails, prepare dinner and by then it should be bedtime again.

These are some of the things I am capable of when I am motivated.

Strange Day......

Weird dreams, reflux, scratching dog, leg cramps, howling winds......I was like a zombie when i finally dragged myself out of bed this morning.  If I hadn't had to work this morning i would have pulled the covers straight back over my head and slept the day away.  The weather isn't helping - wet, miserable, misty and a bit nippy. 

This mornings job started out fine, i was on a roll until it came time to go over the non-compliance list with the manager who disappeared, he passed the buck to someone else who in turn threw it to someone else who then passed it to the junior to deal with.  I don't care anymore as long as I get paid for my bit thats okay with me. 

I went to the library after and couldn't find one book I really wanted to read. I finally picked the girl with the dragon tattoo. Driving home it was like I was invisible, I had my lights on because of the weather, I had cars pulling out in front of me at junctions, cars coming across the centre line and narrowly missing me and then I just remembered in time I had to get petrol and just made it to the servo. I even had a couple of huge rats run out in front of me.

The owners of the holiday home next door stayed the weekend and had to leave in a hurry cos their son was sick which means she's left me a nice mess to sort out. Beds to be stripped and a bathroom to clean.  But at least its more money for me.

I feel so out of sorts today, headachey - actually a bit fluey. I'm gonna go put next doors washing on and then I'm going to crawl into bed with my book.

Jan

Procrastination

Oh dear, I have a deadline....end of April and the end of April is easter, so it has to be a deadline the week before easter.  I do not feel like doing anything.  My get up and go packed its bags and left for a holiday in a dryer climate.  This constant drizzle and miserable weather is just draining the life out of me.  Come on Sun I know you are are there.

I have plants to put in - up and out of bed at 6.30 and out to the market two towns over to pick up some promised eggplants seedlings, it was wet and muddy and I didn't feel like going so it was straight there and back.  I suppose they will sit in their pots next to the coriander seedlings I bought last weekend, waiting for me to get my act together and get them planted.

The snowmen (deadline items) are in snowballs still waiting construction, then I came up with another idea and of course had to drop everything to do that - and of course that is now waiting to be finished.

I have the beginnings a new love life if I can stop making excuses why I can't have one right now.

I need to get a new career, but thats been put on hold cos I now have carpal tunnel in my wrists and in my elbow, so that sort of puts paid for me looking at admin or clerical work, its also slowed down the craft work.  I think carpal is slightly better than the neuropathy from the diabetes that it could have been but isn't.

So, rather than move forward, I've stuck everything in the too hard basket and am now sat here procrastinating.

I know how to get myself out of it, I know I have a problem and I know how to deal with it,
I have all the tools necessary in my life to move forward.  I am the Queen of Self Sabatage, my life is going good and its like 'okay I know something bad is going to happen soon so I'll just stop now so I won't be disappointed', 'if I make the effort in this new relationship and then something goes wrong and it doesn't work out then I will get hurt, so I'll just finish it now to save all that pain'....... you see where I am going with this.

OK, rant over. Thats feels better.  Now to go and push myself to do something, maybe knock down a few of these barriers I've built up around myself.

Jan


PS: One of the things I did last week (Friday) was have all my hair cut off...........and I had a few streaks put in.  I went into the hairdressers and she did it there and then , no procrastinating. If I had gone home and thought about it I would have chickened out.
So look out for the new photo coming soon. I can have my hair straight or allow it to be its normal wavy self. The straight style sort of needs to grow on me a bit, and she's cut it so that the silver wings blend in with the streaks.

Firsts for this little old lady......

After my appointment in town I met up with a friend for coffee and we decided to have a girly day out - op-shopping and checking out places we don't normally go.  Two girly day outs in a week - can my system cope with it all.  Bought a seersucker pink and yellow table cloth at one op-shop - I have such a large dining table that it is hard to find everyday tablecloths for it so I was really pleased when we unfolded the table cloth and it was huge.  Then we decided to go over to the next town for lunch. First time ever I have been in a RSL club, aftern lunch my friend showed me how to play the pokies, another first.  I really can't see what the point is just sitting at a machine and hitting that button over and over again.  Soon got bored with that but at least I didn't lose any money.  But that's two more things I can tick off my firsts list. 
The heavens opened just has we were going back to the car, we had to sit ouside Target for 10 mins before we could get out of the car.  They had my favourite knickers in the sale and they were even reduced by another dollar at the checkoout so I was a happy little Jan.  Treated myself to a new cd - Bat out of Hell, my old tape of it has finally given up the ghost, its over 30 years old and with all the playing its had over the years I'm surprised its lasted this long. 
Bought more yarn as well - yes, I needed it. I knit half of it up last night in a spiral scarf and I'm not happy with the colour changes in it.  So it might become something else. I might knit up a pair of fingerless gloves or socks instead. 

  Well, like a bat out of hell I'm going, going, gone.

Start to the day

Just a quickie, a bit of pink in my dreary wet day. I ran out of milk and forgot to buy more so couldn't have my morning coffee.  A cup of red fruits tea and I am ready for anything though.  Now, I really had better go get dressed and get into town.

Jan

be careful what you say.....

Coming out of Spotlight (and I managed to get out with only spending $18), I commented to my friends to be careful because there was slippery wet slimy moss in the gutters.  No sooner than the words were out of my mouth then the back of my foot came down on the aforementioned slime and I away I went, did the splits, managed to stay upright but slid into the car. 
Once the three of us are together doing our 'chick' things  we are oblivious to the world around us,  though having reli's and friends in Japan was never far from our minds.  I had not long been through the door after returning home and heard on the news there had been a small earthquake about 30 klms out to sea and slightly south from where we had spent the day, roughly about the time we were getting in the car to come home.   I never felt a thing even though it was reported that people in the area had reported feeling movement.
I was amazed just how many earthquakes there are in the world every day. 
Better get a wiggle on, the morning is running away from me. Got an appointment in town and then coffee with a friend.

Hugs to all

Jan

The universe is conspiring against me again. Its piddled down all day, its wet and its miserable and there is more forcast.  But compared to the coast further south this is nothing. Definately not in the mood for sourcing something pretty, not even the thought of lots of garage sales could coach me out of the house.  Comfort food that is what I needed - a fried egg butty with lashings of HP sauce.  I had attempted to have one for my dinner last night, but a friend phoned up just as I was about to take the first bite and by the time she had rang off it was stone cold and very unappitising so it went in the bin. Lunchtime I had another attempt - cracked the egg into the pan, perfect, didn't break the yoke this time - bugger, hang on why is it a yucky green colour, bugger, bugger and triple bugger. Okay universe so you don't want me to have anything unhealthy for lunch. Ha, the breads already buttered, just bung on some peanut butter and strawberry jam.  Gotcha there didn't I universe.   I suppose as always the universe will have the last laugh.

I'm going to curl up now with my sudoku and be lazy for the rest of the day.

Boring, boring, boring

I look around my house and it is BORING.  No pretty pinks or pastels but dull browns and dark colours with the added bits of colour from the bright coloured crocheted throws and the snowman dolls.
I am on a mission to get rid of brown in my life.  It doesn't help that my late beloved had a thing for natural wood, he loved his wood and working with it and he made a lot of the things in our house.  The kitchen is Queensland Maple, which is a nice golden colour and has mellowed and I am happy with that but the other wood in the living room is a dark reddy brown, the carpet is a yucky browny colour.  Its all too masculine. I've tried to pretty it up, I've got pretty blue and flowery things in the bedrooms but they still seem to be dominated by wood.  I'm not a frilly frilly pretty girl, but I do like plain and pretty (is there such a thing) and simple. I have a severe lack of funds for anything major so it has to be done on the cheap.
My mission if I choose to accept it - Pretty up my life.

So what am I going to do today to pretty up my life.  I am going to set myself a target of $10 this weekend to buy something that will give me joy and make my life just a little bit more prettier.



             

chimichangas

Chimigangas are a tex mex dish,  Bubz.  Google the recipe as there a few different ways of doing them.  I always add a packet of taco sauce mix (Homebrand) to the stock the meat is cooked in and a bit extra liquid.  The meat is cooked on a low heat with garlic and spices for a couple of hours till all the liquid has practically gone and then it is shredded easily with two forks.  Then a dollop of the mixture is put in the centre of a warm tortilla and then the tortilla is fold up into a little packet and fried on both sides.  I found the recipe in one of those little family circle cook books that are always at woolies checkouts.  This one was Tex Mex.

The Cassowary Coast are still copping the rain, up here in on the Atherton Tablelands some areas are getting more than most and one poor woman was washed away when her car was washed off the road. They found her body the other day.  It made me feel sick knowing just how easy it could happen and I know my friend and I won't be doing it again any time soon.  Our part of the Tablelands is getting steady rain but not big numbers, yesterday there was 60mm from the previous 24 hours and today there was only 15mm in the rain gauge, yet about 40 klms away they got over 60mm.  I've seen rain fall on one half of the road and the other half be as dry as anything, it was like a curtain of rain.  Very strange.

Well I suppose I'd better go get some work done.

Jan

Computer glitches yet again

Computer worked fine last night, this morning it was playing up yet again. So after making sure it wasn't human error (mine) I packed up the hard drive and off I went again.  Terry looked at it straight away,  found out what the problem was and sorted it out with  no charge.  So lets see how long this lasts for.

I bought some choc chip orange cookies this morning, yum.  There goes the diet.  I wonder how many klms on the treadmill will burn off three or four cookies. 

Yay.......the council finally came and picked up all my green waste from the footpath.  I registered three times to get it moved, it had grown as well, some of the broken branches had actually struck and a tree fern had taken over the centre of the pile. It took two big muscley men to move what one little old lady with a dodgy ticker had put there.  Now I have to go and hose off the footpath and sweep up the debris......or do I wait for the deluge that is scheduled to come down this arvo.

Now my puter is well and truly fixed I should really go get those patterns typed up.

Jan

Computer glitches, chimichangas and snowmen

Just got my old girl back from the computer doctor, don't know what was up with her but she didn't want to play anymore.  She's all fixed up now and I'm busy catching up.  The house has been so quiet without her. I actually got out into the garden inbetween rain showers, put in some more gingers and fire lilys and found the cutest little green tree frog, it was only about half an inch big, he jumped away before I could get my camera out.  I'm a pretty hit and miss gardener, I like plants that look after themselves and are easily propagated.  I've fallen in love with bromeliads and I am gradually building up a collection, now I'm looking out for someone to help me lay a patio area under the pergola, all the slate I laid a few years ago needs lifting and re-laying.  The veggies are growing really well, the purple king beans I put in last Thursday have sprouted all ready. 

I had a nice piece of beef skirt and finally got around to making chimichangas, skirt shreds so easily and cooks up really tender.  Just popping them in the pan and No.2 son turned up, of course he had to be invited to stay for dinner.  There went tomorrows lunch. 

The snow people are multiplying all over the house, big and little.  I wish I could show them to you they look so cute.  I'm tackling the pattern tomorrow, giving it a tweak here and there and it should be ready to send for submission next week and then I can start on the christmas stitcheries.

Still raining, the areas that copped the worst of the  cyclone are copping all the rain, Mission Beach got over 300mm in a day, there has been a couple of landslides which have stranded people out there and there is more rain on the way and the chance of another cyclone. 

Its an early night for me tonight, right after Grays, curling up with Mr Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet, I've attempted to read P and P so many times but never actually finished it.  Its on my list of things to do.   Doing some family research and found out that an ancestor of my hubby went to the same school as Jane Austen and around the same time.

Better go watch the end of How I met your Mother, a quick shower and then Grays.

Jan

who put that hole there........

A cane toad thats who........probably in retaliation for me decapitating its mate the last time I mowed.  Down I went, the mower went one way and I went down on one knee, not quite hitting the ground. The perfect curtsey.  Pity the queen wasn't around to see it. 
Went off to market this morning with a couple of friends.  Wet and muddy but who cares, we were on a mission. I bought another variation of a lipstick plant and a Finger Lime plant. I have been after one of these for three years and finally got one. Its very prickly and very small and very slow growing. But I have patience aznd can wait, (Oh yes I can - for some things anyway). 
Has anyone been taking CoenzymeQ10, I've just started in the hope that it can stop the muscle aches from taking Lipitor.  I would like some feedback as to wether it actually works.
Well the last bit of lawn won't be getting mowed today, the heavens have opened.  Its wet, wet and wetter.  No fun mowing a muddy lawn.  I think I'll just play around on the puter today. I have been so good and restricted myself to just a couple of hours a day on it. I need to get down and get some patterns written out.. The magazine is interested in the snowpeople so I can't show them in all their glory.  They are very cute though.
I picked up a whole heap of crochet books from the op-shop last week, one that I had years ago (like, 30+yrs) and had started to make a tablecloth from it. It never got bigger than a runner but now I have found the pattern in the book i bought I might get to finally finish it.
The date on the book is 1975 so I reckon this is one of my oldest ufo's. The only thing now is to find out where I hid it.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Jan

Deck the halls with........

Yes I know it March tomorrow and christmas has been and gone. But I'm designing stitcheries and amigurumi's for next christmas. I'm trying to get in the mood.  The snowmen are all done, now its time to make a snowwoman.  Then they are all set for some winter fun in the snow with a basket of snowballs.  While I had the ironing board out I ironed all the homespun scraps ready for drawing out the stitcheries.  Now I have to get in the mood for stitching. 

This morning I collected all the recycling from around the house and all the stuff to go to the op-shop, then I cleaned the phone, I've wiped the fridge down and clipped 5 of the dogs toe-nails,  cleaned my hairbrushes, seasoned the cast iron frying pans and now looking round for a few more little jobs to do.  Anything rather than sit down and craft.  I know once I put those first few stitches in I'll be on a roll.  Its just getting to that stage that I am putting off. WHY....I haven't a clue.  I've got farm town fields to plow, seeds to plant and I have to try and keep up the winning score for this week in Mahjong. I really should be banned from facebook.  What I need is to be whisked away to a desert island with all my crafty things and drawing books and colouring pencils with someone to cook my meals and clean up after me, quiet music playing in the background with a cool breeze and the sounds of the ocean to calm me.  No stress about having to do all the everyday things, no stress over having to look for work or lose my benefits, no stress over paying bills and finding money just to get through each day. ..........bliss.





Looks like its coffee time

so thats me outta here for now. Lets see if caffeine can get me motivated to make the little girl snowman and to start one stitchery.

Who p'd off Mother Nature

It makes you wonder what is going to be next.  Prayers for all in Christchurch and surrounds.

Meanwhile back in my little part of the world everything is calm and relaxed.  Two snowmen finished. Got an extra shoppy job to do tomorrow, got a product audit to do in the morning and then have to whizz over to Mareeba for a quick customer service assessment.  Might pop into Rivers who have a sale on.  I like their shoes.  I was supposed to be babysitting a friends dog in the morning as she had to fly to Bris for a hospital appointment but that got cancelled cos the medical team she was supposed to see are being sent to NZ.  So I have a couple of hours spare in the a.m. to do as I please.

I had a crap nights sleep due to a reflux attack, not had one for a while but its my own fault for having dinner late.  Then there were the weird dreams.  Why am I dreaming about cultures with strong traditions.  Four nights on the trot now I have had them.  Different scenarios but the themes are all along the same lines - the traditions and beliefs that hold us back from moving forwards. Ingrained behaviors.  In the dreams I am always fighting against them.  Dugong features in many of my dreams, maybe she is my totem spirit making herself known.

Time to make a cup of tea before bed, I have a debbie maccomber book to finish.  and another one to start so its an early night for me.  

Jan



Carrots

I found a thinner yarn and using a smaller hook I crocheted a carrot nose.  The second snowman is not as cute as the first and I suppose when I do the third he or she will be different again.  So now I have to do a candy cane walking stick.  I might leave this out of the final pattern draft and maybe add something else, I thought maybe a basket of snowballs. We'll see how it goes.  
Pulling weeds yesterday I also pulled my back, I really should learn.  Its not a disc or anything but I think it is more muscle related.  So enforced rest today.  Luckily I got the lawns done and the place looks reasonably tidy so if the queen comes for tea I won't be making up excuses why the place is a mess.  I can sit and crochet and make pattern notes. I need to iron the washed homespun for the stitcheries but that can wait till later in the week.  The patterns are all drawn out so I could work out the colours I want to use and the stitches.  I have lots of christmas fabric I have collected over the years so they will be used as borders.  Some is definately vintage.  Which will fit in quite nicely with the theme of the stitcheries.
At the moment I am still waiting for my passion to come back, I am working away at these new designs but I am feeling nothing, no excitement or enthusiasm.  I am enjoying doing them but it still feels like a chore.  In fact right now I feel very little excitement about anything in my  life.  I enjoy being with my friends and having a good laugh but even they have noticed that I am not my usual bubbly/warped/ strange/delightfully weird self.
Reading my posts here and on the craft forums I can see I have definately become more normal than usual, BORING I might add.  Am I finally growing up, maturing, ripening, acting my age.  How scary.

Jan

Well maybe I'll be choosy next time.....

trouble is I'm a 'fixer', I just can't help myself. If somebody needs help I just barge right in.
But I think maybe I will not be so fast to offer my services in future.
The realtor has told next door the house could go for around $375,000 and thats with the white ant damage and the all the renovation that is needed.  I fell in love with the most gorgeous queenslander that is for sale, beautiful views, cathredral ceilings, wrap around verandahs on a 2 acre block with fruit trees and bordered by a creek.  Just under a million, oh well I can dream - so much for downsizing.  
The garage sale next door was to have been next weekend and they said I could go and pick anything I wanted before the sale.  There was a nice old white table I fancied to do up and a duck casserole dish (long story over the duck) but nothing else.  They decided yesterday to have the garage sale that day, they came round this morning and said I could take my pick of what was left.  I got a couple of Al's books on woodworking and a model motorbike for RYan and that was it.  Everything I would have liked had gone or been given away.  I felt awful picking through the dregs of a friends life.  I have been thanked for all the help I have given their parents over the years which is all I really ever wanted from them. 
But life goes on and now I can look forward to new neighbours pretty soon.  I have to tell the son that the fence line is in the wrong place, Al didn't want to mow down a little slope on the fence line so he asked if he could put the fence at the top of the slope thus giving us an extra foot (and yes, I had to mow up the slope), he also moved the fence line at the bottom as well which means his neighbour over the back got an extra foot, if that is moved back then their new house has been built too close to the original fence line and could cause problems with town planning.  Moral dilemma - do I keep schtum, the surveyors will probably pick it up.  I know my neighbour on the other side said all the fence lines were out anyway.
Life is quiet without the dog, my dog is running around looking for her.  I hope her new owners love her and treat her right.  She knew something was going on, kept glaring at me.
We had one last long walk by the lake early friday morning and then I took her over to next door as I had to work over in Mareeba for a couple of hours, she was trying to get back to me as I left. When I got back later I thought she had gone. I opened the front door to go check the post and the car was just leaving, she was sat in the back seat looking out of the window, I quickly shut the door.  I know I made the right decision.
Back on the craft front, I have crocheted an amigurumi snowman, he looks quite cute.  I need to find a carrot button or charm for his nose. I tried to make a felt one but it didn't look right.  A trip to Spotlight was planned for yesterday but plans changed and I really didn't fancy going down today.  I did tell RYan Spotlight was a good place to pick up girls - lots of cute assistants willing to help a young good looking man who was looking for something for his mum but he didn't fall for it.  Liam on the other hand who is now single again said it was a good idea.  What do you think could happen to two country boys in the big city looking for a carrot for a snowmans nose.

JAN

Why am I so happy.......

The dog goes tomorrow to her new home.  In the three weeks she has been with me I've managed to train her not to pee in the house, not to jump up on the furniture or to jump up at people.  No thanks you's for that.  I've fed her, I've walked her, I've loved her. 
To be quite honest she's a sneaky little bully of a dog who has been spoiled rotten, treated like a human rather than an animal.  I will miss the walks though, my little Poppy is going to have to get used to being dragged out from under the bed in the future for early morning walks down by the lake.  I had told the owners family that I couldn't afford to get her vet-checked, chipped and de-sexed if I took her, so we went back to the original plan of a friend of the home-help taking her.  The family offered to pay all the vets bills for her cos she couldn't afford it.  The family have stripped the house bare, dumped half of it, given a whole heap away to their friends and then asked me if there was anything I wanted out of the crap that was left. 
That was before the old man was dead and now the old lady is still alive in hospital, totally out of it though.  They are not having a funeral, he's going to be cremated yesterday, today or tomorrow, who knows.  They are all squabbling over who's getting what. I don't want a thing.  I watched out for their parents because they couldn't be bothered to, they were quite happy to stand back and let me do it.    My boys are upset because the old man was like a grandfather to them. So I think we'll have our own ceremony to farewell him at the weekend.  I'm just so mad how his family have treated him and are now treating his things. Theres no respect.   In a way its a blessing that their mother is not with it at all.
It has made me think that in future I will not be so helpful and nice.  Not so eager to be the good neighbour.  The house will probably be sold to someone who wants it as a holiday home.  Pretty soon nearly all the houses where I live will be holidays rentals.  In fact on my street I think there are only 3 people that can say they have lived there over 18 years and I am one of them.   I think now it might be time for me to pull out and sell up.  Move to a smaller place with less garden, closer to the hospitals and shops.  The rates here are sky high and we have less amenitites than everywhere else. Its been yuppified, everything has been taken over by boutique motels and spas, its all geared up for the tourists. 
I need to downsize, get rid of a few things, have less clutter around.  Even though I have had major declutters in the past couple of years there still a lot left.  I have half a rainforest under the house and a toolshed full of tools nobody uses.
I might check out the realtor websites and see what is available.

Jan

Getting my mojo back

Its coming slowly but surely. I worked for 4 hours in the craft room yesterday. I had intended to turn off the computer at 9 a.m yesterday and work till lunch time, but I went in there purely to set everything up ready to go and then actually sat down to work at 8.30. I had realised the computer was still on but knew if I left the craft room i would get side-tracked. Just as I had that thought it hit 9 o'clock and there was a short power outage for maybe a few seconds - enough to turn off the computer.  Even the universe seems to be pushing me to get back to designing. I am happy with what I have done.  The snowman was actually drawn straight onto calico and stitched last October with no draft drawing done first, so I had to the first draft for it.   I'm going to work on them a bit more before I commit them to fabric.  I've worked all morning again in the craft room, I can't believe its lunch time already. So I've taken the photo's, edited and made a collage and watermarked it.  Now I can start perhaps changing, adding or removed certain things. I'm itchin to get stitchin but I have to be patiant.
I have made the decision to let the foster dog go, for once I am letting my head rule and not the heart. She's a beautiful dog but my little old girl is suffering, the foster dog is very demanding and is constantly pushing Poppy away from me.  She's knows her master has gone, she is moping and sooo sad, especially as she can hear the family in his house next door.   After a discussion with her owners family they realise they can't keep her either and she needs to go to a home where she has plenty of space and someone there all the time.  She's laying at my feet now
and follows me everywhere.  Its been good for me with all the walks she has been getting.
But I have to let her go before I get too attached. 

Thank you Norma.....

After a long chat with my 'cuz' I decided to clear out my bag.

Three pieces of wrapped up chewed up chewing gum.

One urine sample bottle. ( Unused).

Four hair grips.

Cough Lolly wrappers.

1 lace vintage hanky.

One heart spray.

One hand sanitiser.

One asthma inhaler.

Two hair ties.
One brush.

One bolt off the old lawn mower.

One barbeque skewer (used).

One list (not mine, don't know where it came from).

One list (mine) from christmas.

One breast screen notice.

A collection of teeth from a comb.

Glitter (from a painting my grandaughter gave me).
New Rego sticker that should have been put on the car days ago.

Dozen shopping receipts - kept because you get 4c off a litre of petrol, all out of date.

Old phone bill (paid).
Dozens of bank receipts.
Two Avon sample lippies(Covered in glitter).
One dead phone.

Old and new appointment letters.

One cosmetic bag (empty).

One dead plant cutting.
Sand (?).
Half a packet of sticky cough lollies (with sand attached).
I was wondering where the sand came from but then I found the sea-shell.

I've filed the things that needed to be filed, put all the medications and hair stuff in the cosmetic bag, thrown out all the old receipts, emptied out the sand and glitter, put the rego on the kitchen bench near the back door so it is the first thing I do in the morning. Thrown out the chewing gum and rubbish. Charged up my phone, the sample bottle will be filled in the morning (like you needed to know that LOL), I remembered where the skewer came from - a Lenards mexican chilli chicken sausage sample.  I've stuck the appointment letters on the fridge - I need a bigger fridge, I'm running out of space and fridge magnets.

I've made a new list of things that I need to do, think, say, feel this week.

Tomorrow I am going to stay off the puter as long as I can unless it is for research, I am going to stick myself in the craft room and I am going to get these ideas that are running round my head out of there and on to paper.  I am going to feel that passion again, I am going to be fired up and enthusiastic about my work and my life.  I am going to stop self sabataging. I am going to go back to cooking proper meals. I am going to kick this self indulgent apathy and lethargy in the butt. Well, maybe the day after tomorrow I'll do it.

Jan

sad news

My dear sweet friend has passed on.  Tears have been shed, hugs have been given, stories told, regrets made..........and that is all I am going to say on the matter.  Life goes on.

Another Day

Thanks Norma, I'll email you after I've posted here.

Despite my beliefs I still find it hard.  I got so upset because Al and his wife have worked hard all their lives and at the end of it they should be able to have a peaceful retirement. Instead they have been dogged by bad health these past few years, living in a run down house. I can only do so much and I have to realise that I can't 'fix' everything and everyone.  These were their choices,  I've stepped back from my family issues, they are all grown men but if they ask for my advice and help I will give it.  My choice right now is to look after me. 
I slept really well last night, though looking at the twisted covers on the bed I might have been a bit restless.  I got up early, took the dog for a run, came home cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, swept off the leaves from the verandah and am now sat having my coffee. A friend will be here soon for her shower and to charge her puter and phone up (still no power out at her place) and its still not 8.00 a.m.
I want to get back to my dolls, the originals, the ones that have just been in Handmade have longer legs and bigger feet, the new ones seem to have evolved into shorter chubbier dolls.  I have doll body parts all over the place and I have orders for 5 more. So I am going to try and make a long legged set and a chubby set and then people can choose which they prefer.  Then I want to get started on something else, the robot and dinasaur are in the process of evolving, I'm going to change the patterns slightly.  Its funny but when I first started doing amigurumi the creatures were smaller and stranger, I made them up as I went along and I never made the same thing twice. Now I think the inner control freak has taken over and they are becoming more 'normal'.  Its markets at the end of the month, so I might try and get a few of the weirder smaller cats and bears done and just a couple of the dolls and see which people prefer. 
I'm going to go pop a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and hope that today is not its day for burning everything to a crisp.  Typical, its starts to go wrong just when its out of warranty.

Jan

Taking a breather

January was a full on month, February started out that way as well. A neighbour and his wife, a lovely old couple who are like parents to me are both in hospital. I have been looking after their dog and house. I do it because, well I just do it, for no reason other than following the golden rule. Today my beautiful friend took a turn for the worse, I recognised the signs of a tired body shutting down, a soul ready for its next journey, I held his hand and calmed him down while the nurses took tests and prodded and probed.  A very young doctor totally unused to the situation told me his heart was failing. This wonderful man who cared for his wife who has dementia, this wonderful who loves his family so much he didn't tell (or let me tell) them that he was in hospital, he didn't want to worry them. His daughter came up to see him yesterday and I told her I would keep her informed, today I had to phone up and tell her that she should get back as soon as possible and to get in touch with her brother.
I have been running back and forth to the hospital, looking after his things, preparing both our houses for cyclones and now I am tired, oh so tired. I'm afraid after I left the hospital I cracked, I found I had left the daughters phone number at home so I was going to rush home and get it, only to find I had left my car lights on so I had a flat battery, looking for my phone I realised I had left it by the computer. The public phone chewed up all my money and I was unable to phone my son. I asked a young man if he could jump start my car but he didn't have jump leads.  Last week I threw the old jump leads in the back of the car thinking one day I might need them.  So he started me up and I took off home, after I had made the calls, I phoned a friend and she asked if I was all right and I just fell to pieces.  Then my son phoned and that was it.  I certainly feel a lot better for getting rid of it all and feel I cope now.  My friend drove me back to the hospital because I didn't want Albert to be on his own.  I held his hand for a while and talked utter rubbish as you do.  He seemed to be sleeping so while the nurses did some more tests my son and I went for a coffee.  When we got back the daughter was there so I felt my job was done, I could take a step back.  His grandson is on his way up and the son is trying to get a flight down from Weipa.
Peg the wife is so ill on another ward, her body is being assaulted by infection after infection, she kept apologsing for not recognising me or knowing who I was.  My only hope is that when Al goes Peg will be close behind him, horrible I know for the family but they have just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary and they have been inseparable. He sings romantic songs to her and tells her she still looks sexy to him. They argue over silly things and then kiss and make up.  She was 16 and he was 19 when they married in LOndon. They came to australia for a new life, both chefs working at top hotels, till they had their own restaurant.  He was also a french polisher and I have a beautiful coffee table he made me one christmas.  One christmas he made me a sentry box about 19 iches high painted blue, when I opened it it had a very cheeky looking garden gnome in it and 'Al' has guarded the front door for many years.  Funny thing, it was the one thing I forgot to take in from outside when the cyclone hit.  It hadn't even moved slightly despite a bush next to it being damaged.
Enough waffling, this isn't really for anyone else to read though if you do I would appreciate you say a little prayer for my friends and their family. This is my way of releasing grief, releasing some feelings I thought I had got rid of, releasing some memories of a time before when the grief belonged to me and mine.