Pleased with myself

Yesterday I finally put the last cross stitch into Jaime's first picture. As my needle hovered over the that one last space it was like letting go of a cherished child. I cut the apron strings and let it go. So now all that is needed is to make it up into something. Now for Jaime No.2 picture, this will probably take more than an afternoon and because I chose to do it on a dark background its best only worked on during the day.
The news report brought good news today, australia has eased up on airport security and now knitting needles can be taken on board, I hope that means crochet hooks can be as well. No more twiddling ones fingers and thumbs on long flights. Flight time can now be returned to what can be achieved. Brisbane - 1 1/2 amigurumi, Sydney - 2 amigurumi, Melbourne - a scarf, and a couple of amigurumi body parts. Not that I am planning any long flights but its good to know just in case.
So, todays tasks - at least 200 crosses put in Jaime No.2, one more dishcloth made and maybe a couple of lip balm holders. Unfortunately I also plan to clean the bathroom walls and clean out the cupboards and walk down to the village for some shopping (since son now has job and needs my car as his is off the road), plus theres a pile of washing that needs doing - all the boring mundane jobs. I haven't even thought about christmas food yet. Not one thing bought, its going to be a last minute dash christmas eve I think. Hopefully the check will come from the magazine, my friend will pay me the money she owes me and Centrelink will pay out early.
It sucks having no money.
My big chest freezer gave up the ghost a few months ago and I've been relying on the little one at the top of the fridge. No.3 son rang last night and he'd bought a new fridge/freezer and no longer needed his little freezer - did I want it. So now I can batch bake and cook up some meals for the freezer now. I'm not going to go mad since the cyclone season is upon us now, its hearbreaking to lose all that food when the power goes out for days.

Back to the stitching. I've been cruising around all the wonderful blogs out there. I'm so damm frustrated at the moment. The inspiration has been wonderful but I just can't decide what to do next. I'd love to go shabby chic, my lifestyle is most definately shabby and in need of 'chicing' up.
I know how easy it would be for me to lose myself in my embroidery or creating the ami's - trouble is I don't have that stress in my life now. Stitching took me away from all of that in the past. I seem to have done my best work while sitting by humidicribs, waiting outside operating theatres, hiding from the real world, taking my mind off the events that took over our lives. It kept me sane all those years. After Mik transitioned and there was no one else for me to care for I found it hard to get back into crafting, there was only me - the boys all off doing there own thing. I was so busy attempting to get back on my feet, finding a job and starting to have a life that didn't revolve around sickness. I'd been a carer all my life so I suppose that was the job that I ended up with. That was until I had my heart attack and emergency triple by-pass. Now I was on the receiving end of being cared for. That was a very hard thing for me to do - accept help. Not me, no thank you, don't need it, I'm a superwoman. I had no excuse now - all that enforced rest, everybody else doing the cleaning. What else was there for me to do but craft. Nope, couldn't do it, it didn't hold me like it did, so i slept, read, slept somemore, watching helplessly while my life and care was taken out of my hands. Two years, a thyroid cancer scare, and a diabetes diagnosis later and I am trying very hard to get back into the joy of crafting. I so want to lose myself in it. It seems to be just routine now. I need that spark that is going to ignite the fire.
I'm doing nothing all day, apart from the basic housework and cooking meals - so why can't I allow myself to feel that joy. I was fully intending to start up an etsy store, I came so close to hitting that final button that would make it all happen.
On friday a Handmade mag came in the post. How strange, then I remembered I had a design due to be published, I also remembered that it wasn't going to be in Handmade. I put the mag to one side thinking it was probably just a freebie to get me to subscribe. I didn't even open it, I had no desire to even look at it. Then i got bored and restless and there all of a sudden was my name attributed to one of the designs. Okay, this was the missing design that had been submitted over 5 years ago. It had been returned to me after it had turned up a few weeks ago. I presume they decided to use it as a filler. Now one would think that this would be enough to get me all fired up. Nope. I did have a brief little spark ignite when Creating Country Threads accepted a prim sampler design and when a friend asked me to help her out in her craft shop but its gonna need a nuclear bomb under this ample butt of mine to get me fired up. So perhaps thats what this blog is about - trying to rekindle that spark, realising that I don't have to craft for the sake of hiding from the world.
Okay I have waffled on long enough.

hugs, love and light

janjan