market off

my friends not feeling too good so our market trip was cancelled. Its our villages christmas market tomorrow just down the road from me so I'll go in real early before the tourists get in and get all my veggies and gifts.

I'm going to go down the library instead and get all my books for over christmas. We can borrow 36 books, so I'llget a few to keep me going..............and inspired by all the wonderful baking that is going on in all the blogs I might even get a book of baking biscuits. I've got the butter softening all ready.

Saturday before christmas (DON'T PANIC, DON'T PANIC)

Come on where's breakfast

These two Kookaburra fly down every morning and evening at a friends place, they are so tame, I have never been game enough to let them eat from my hand - just look at the beak.  The ones in my garden are so damm noisy.  I was up and wide awake again at 5.00.  But thanks to the people over the backs new rooster, the storm birds and the kookies there was no chance I was going to ever get past 5.30.

Going to the market today over in Malanda, Matts still got my car so my friend Pat is coming over for me. If I can get a couple of cheap plants, all the veggies and maybe a couple of small gifts then I will be happy. I refuse to stress out over christmas. I look at all the wonderful blogs and everything they have done for christmas and drool. Where on earth do they get the time. Who does the dusting, how long does it take to get it all down and how do you stop little fingers from dismantling everything. Will I ever get used to christmas in steaming hot weather. 

This year might just be the year I give up on the traditional chrissy dinner.  I'll be happy with out traditional bacon butty all-in for breakfast, cooked outside on the barbi, kids running in and out of the pool, then off to friends for lunch and the yearly catch-up with all the outlaws (used to be in-laws at one stage) and all the blended family members). At this stage we come home and try to assemble out own christmas dinner but we are either too full or too hot and give up. Last year I forgot something and the year before I forgot to make the gravy, nobody could wait. nobody cared and the boys poured tomato sauce over everything.

But that was the year I was recuperating from open heart surgery and very lucky to be seeing christmas so gravy was the last thing on our minds.

This year we are missing another cherished member of the family, so it will be a sad occassion for us all, my beautiful sis in law flies home on Tuesday, I wish I could take away all the "firsts" for her, all I can do is just be there for her.  My beloved left us just before christmas 2006 so that year christmas was a blur, we were still wrapped up in grief so it passed us by, the christmas after I was getting back on my feet and also we had the sadness of another close family member not being with us.  This christmas we will raise our glasses to a wonderful brother-in-law and friend who left us earlier this year.

So I am not panicing, if presents do not get finished or bought, cards do not get sent it is of no great matter. What matters is family and friends and holding close those who are dear to you.

This chrissy will be a time of reflection and gratefulness and a time of giving thanks. Reflection on the past few years, how our lives have changed, how we all coped and how we have all grown, how when I was down  there was always a hand held out.  Gratefulness for just being here to celebrate another christmas, for all the wonderful family and friends we have, for my beautiful granddaughters who bring so much joy into my life, for my sons who whilst not perfect have grown to be good men and make their mother proud and I give thanks for all of this. At this moment, I have all that I need and this one thought will carry me through.

Think about it - for that one moment when the thought was there it was true, the moment passed into the past, the next moment in the future. Why worry.

and on that note I will away to get dressed and have breakfast, put the washing out, do the poo hunt, get my market bag and sit in a patch of sun on the back verandah till my friend gets here, might even make another dishcloth or start some more flowers.

Life if good and I am grateful

janjan

Memories - Part 1

This morning, wide awake again at 5.00 a.m. I was determined to get at least another half hours sleep.  I drifted off into a memory, my earliest stitching memory.  Mum was  (still is) an artist, a dressmaker and tailoress. So my early years were full of stories revolving around little stick men and funny drawings and the best dressed dolls in the world.  Sitting at her feet as the sewing machine treadle hypnotized me, I was in charge of the stray pins and fabric bits that fell to the floor. At the end of the sewing day when the blunt needle would be changed she drew out basic shapes - a cat, a dog, a square, a circle, a flower and would carefully go over the shape with the needle. These were my first hand sewing lessons and I was eager to learn. Maybe I was three maybe 4. Using a large bodkin and dishcloth cotton I would go in and out of the holes, those early days I would be fascinated by the patterns the threads made and that I was in control of.

Perhaps all these dishcloths I have been making have stirred up these memories, feeling the slightly rough cotton in my hands, I know they agitated the memories of school needlework lessons - having to stitch correctly, hold the needle correctly, stitches the correct length with the correct space between them.   Being smacked over the back of head by a ruler because I had not listened to the teacher, what a mess I had made. Had I not listened to a word she said, stupid child, unpick all the stitches.  I still have the felt egg cosy I made when I was 7 or 8, I look at the stitches, all neat and evenly spaced and wonder if that was when I decided I hated sewing.  Needlework classes held fear for me, I was ridiculed in front of others, high school gym skirt held up as an example of what not to do, my mother was a dressmaker,how could I not sew properly.  I was so glad when options year came and I could drop out of domestic science and needlework.
Doing everything by the book, not daring to step outside the box  - i had had it all and I was so glad to be away from it. 

I still can't make clothes though I have made the half-hearted attempt, the boys had a few pairs of board shorts and I had a skirt that wasn't too bad.  Mainly because I broke the rules and didn't quite follow the pattern and ever so slightly stepped over the line at the edge of the box. When I think back mum never followed patterns, she could look at a garment and copy it. I remember pointing to a paisely hot pants suit in a teen magazine and the next weekend I had two suits.  I also remember the emerald green tweed pants suit. The trousers weren't lined and the wool itched like mad and it was GREEN (because then I was a redhead and redheads always wore green - creating an aversion to GREEN thats lasted up until the other day)  But I looked 'cool' in front of the ministers son so I put up with it.

At that stage in my life I hated sewing, I hated doing anything by the book and I hated rules.  I can't remember at what point I actually picked up a needle again, I know at 16 i was knitting and crocheting. But I can't remember what encouraged me to start embroidery. At 17 I was into wool hook rugging. Oh dear its all coming back to me now. It was an ex fiance and his family. Do I really want to go there, was my love of needle and thread the only good thing to come out of that relationship. Yes, thats where it started, sitting around the fire on a winters day with all his family, sitting and stitching.  Thats a brief memory and I must remember that time in my life had its good memories as well as the bad, I've forgiven, forgotten and moved on since then. Just a little glitch in my life and the birth of a new love - cross stitch. 

Hugs, love and light

janjan

Just got back home from the docs, not much to tell, thyroid is enlarged and has grown below my sternum, nodules have grown has well, headaches might be caused by thyroid pressing on something when I have my neck in a certain position. We'll see what the specialist says in January. I do get a gritty throat every so often and I did have problems swallowing the other day but its nothing major. I'm not worried.  I need to see a podiastrist and have more bloodwork done because of the diabetes but again I'm not worried.  Blood pressure is good and my hearts working fine.  I am a bit stressed though and need to relax more, normally this doc charges up front and I can clain back a third off Medicare but today she didn't charge me, big sigh of relief.  Did a quick shop with the money I saved from the docs.

There was also a nice big parcel on the back verandah. A goodie box from my little brother.  Wine, chocolates, biscuits and some pampering smelly stuff.  I can feel a little of the bah hunbug disappearing and merry christmas creeping in.

I have a funny feeling that the sweet innocent looking christmas pooch has left me a parcel under my bed again. There is a slight whiff of something unsavoury coming from in there, she's also hiding from me. OK off I go on the hands and knees, bum in air and head under bed. Just look at the dust under here.

hugs, love and light

janjan

I hate hanging around waiting for anything, can't get dressed cos the dryer hasn't finished yet, I've got everything ready apart from the clothes, all my chores are done, I've had breakfast, three cups of coffee and a banana.  Do I start something - maybe a new dishcloth. Whats going to be my target for the day - 400 sts in Jaime No.2 and another dishcloth and one lip balm holder.  Once upon a time, in a mythical land that used to be my life I would have jumped at the chance to have even five minutes spare to craft, every opportunity was used.  I've got 15 mins before my friend gets here, hopefully my clothes will be dry by then. OKay I've pysched myself up I'm off to start a new dish cloth.

hugs, love and light

janjan

Just hanging around in a towel

Darling No.2 son woke me this morning slamming cupboard doors and grumbling about something, it was still dark outside so I didn't rise to the bait and dozed back off again. 10 minutes later I'm wide awake and its 5.15 a.m. The sky is starting to lighten and there is no way I'm going to drop back off again. Well I might as well jump out of bed and make a start on the day - washing in the machine, tend my farm town farm - harvest, plow and plant, shower (clean another wall while I'm in there), have my coffee and then just hang around in my towel till its time to get dressed. Check out a few blogs, searching endlessly for inspiration.

Yesterday I did make one more dishcloth and put 375 crosses in Jaime No.2 and I did rearrange the mess in the craft room. I am amazed it stayed clean for so long, this must be a record. The above photo is actually the before the big stash busting effort. Perhaps a third of that yarn is gone - transformed into ami's. hats, scarves, flowers and baby shoes. But the mess has gradually crept back and its looking pretty much the same now.

New craft at the moment is neeedle felting, I picked up some wonderful hand dyed roving from a spinner who came into the shop. I'm just playing at the moment - doodling in roving. Just randomly felting, playing with colours and seeing what comes out. There was a little spark there, I felt it deep down inside, a stirring. Whilst stitching yesterday I tried to analyse my feelings as I was working - was this just a chore that I had to get done, I kept looking at the clock - no, time was not standing still, was i hypnotised by the gentle movement of the needle and threads, had i got "into my groove". Came to the conclusion I think way too much.

This is one of my quiet spots, dawn at the lake, mist gently lifting, the pelicans drifting past. Unfortunately its also taken over by jet-skiers and boaties during the christmas holiday season so I only go there early mornings.

Better go get a wiggle on - I've a doctors appointment at 9.30, results due in from my ultrasound on my thyroid. Keeping fingers crossed I don't have to have another biopsy. Since Matt has my car my friend is coming over soon to pick me up.

Hugs, love and light

janjan

Yes its me

Yes Cheryl and anyone else that is wondering. It is me. On the quiet days at the shop (and there was many of those) my friend and I would sit outside on the bus stop bench, drinking coffee, eating biccys and watching and commenting on the world that went by us (You got some strange sights around that little town) I drew out a piccy of us both as angels having time out to gossip and have a coffee. It was intended to be a stitchery and might still become one if I can get fired up.

janjan

Pleased with myself

Yesterday I finally put the last cross stitch into Jaime's first picture. As my needle hovered over the that one last space it was like letting go of a cherished child. I cut the apron strings and let it go. So now all that is needed is to make it up into something. Now for Jaime No.2 picture, this will probably take more than an afternoon and because I chose to do it on a dark background its best only worked on during the day.
The news report brought good news today, australia has eased up on airport security and now knitting needles can be taken on board, I hope that means crochet hooks can be as well. No more twiddling ones fingers and thumbs on long flights. Flight time can now be returned to what can be achieved. Brisbane - 1 1/2 amigurumi, Sydney - 2 amigurumi, Melbourne - a scarf, and a couple of amigurumi body parts. Not that I am planning any long flights but its good to know just in case.
So, todays tasks - at least 200 crosses put in Jaime No.2, one more dishcloth made and maybe a couple of lip balm holders. Unfortunately I also plan to clean the bathroom walls and clean out the cupboards and walk down to the village for some shopping (since son now has job and needs my car as his is off the road), plus theres a pile of washing that needs doing - all the boring mundane jobs. I haven't even thought about christmas food yet. Not one thing bought, its going to be a last minute dash christmas eve I think. Hopefully the check will come from the magazine, my friend will pay me the money she owes me and Centrelink will pay out early.
It sucks having no money.
My big chest freezer gave up the ghost a few months ago and I've been relying on the little one at the top of the fridge. No.3 son rang last night and he'd bought a new fridge/freezer and no longer needed his little freezer - did I want it. So now I can batch bake and cook up some meals for the freezer now. I'm not going to go mad since the cyclone season is upon us now, its hearbreaking to lose all that food when the power goes out for days.

Back to the stitching. I've been cruising around all the wonderful blogs out there. I'm so damm frustrated at the moment. The inspiration has been wonderful but I just can't decide what to do next. I'd love to go shabby chic, my lifestyle is most definately shabby and in need of 'chicing' up.
I know how easy it would be for me to lose myself in my embroidery or creating the ami's - trouble is I don't have that stress in my life now. Stitching took me away from all of that in the past. I seem to have done my best work while sitting by humidicribs, waiting outside operating theatres, hiding from the real world, taking my mind off the events that took over our lives. It kept me sane all those years. After Mik transitioned and there was no one else for me to care for I found it hard to get back into crafting, there was only me - the boys all off doing there own thing. I was so busy attempting to get back on my feet, finding a job and starting to have a life that didn't revolve around sickness. I'd been a carer all my life so I suppose that was the job that I ended up with. That was until I had my heart attack and emergency triple by-pass. Now I was on the receiving end of being cared for. That was a very hard thing for me to do - accept help. Not me, no thank you, don't need it, I'm a superwoman. I had no excuse now - all that enforced rest, everybody else doing the cleaning. What else was there for me to do but craft. Nope, couldn't do it, it didn't hold me like it did, so i slept, read, slept somemore, watching helplessly while my life and care was taken out of my hands. Two years, a thyroid cancer scare, and a diabetes diagnosis later and I am trying very hard to get back into the joy of crafting. I so want to lose myself in it. It seems to be just routine now. I need that spark that is going to ignite the fire.
I'm doing nothing all day, apart from the basic housework and cooking meals - so why can't I allow myself to feel that joy. I was fully intending to start up an etsy store, I came so close to hitting that final button that would make it all happen.
On friday a Handmade mag came in the post. How strange, then I remembered I had a design due to be published, I also remembered that it wasn't going to be in Handmade. I put the mag to one side thinking it was probably just a freebie to get me to subscribe. I didn't even open it, I had no desire to even look at it. Then i got bored and restless and there all of a sudden was my name attributed to one of the designs. Okay, this was the missing design that had been submitted over 5 years ago. It had been returned to me after it had turned up a few weeks ago. I presume they decided to use it as a filler. Now one would think that this would be enough to get me all fired up. Nope. I did have a brief little spark ignite when Creating Country Threads accepted a prim sampler design and when a friend asked me to help her out in her craft shop but its gonna need a nuclear bomb under this ample butt of mine to get me fired up. So perhaps thats what this blog is about - trying to rekindle that spark, realising that I don't have to craft for the sake of hiding from the world.
Okay I have waffled on long enough.

hugs, love and light

janjan

This is the unfinished cross-stitch of my friends dog Jaime

I'm making it the UFO OF THE WEEK and here in front of the world I janjan state that it will be finished by next monday, with a fabric border and either made into a cushion cover or a small lap rug. There is actually two pictures - this one was started about 15 months ago with the intention of it being made into a chrissy present for 2008, the other one was started way back in march 2007 as a birthday present and as the birthday came and went it was going to be finished for chrissy 2007. If I really get my finger out and get stuck into it I might even get them both finished.

In fact if I can drag myself away from this computer, turn on the afternoon movie I might get a couple of hours stitching in before I have to do dinner.

hugs, love and light

janjan

Today is the First Day of the Rest of my Blog

My other blog whilst touching briefly on craft is mainly for friends and family to get all the goss on whats happening with me and mine over on this side of the world. So as I am now getting back into the crafty side of my life I thought a new blog about my love of stitches was in order.

Embroidery is my first love, followed by crochet and knitting. I have the occassional passionate fling with beading but I am fickle and quickly dump it in favour of the sensual nature of threads and yarn. My craft room is currently reasonably tidy, it is probably best described on a good day as eclecticly cluttered.
I hoard and scavenge garage sales, flea markets, op-shops and other peoples bins for bits that I can re-birth.
I have made a bargain with myself - not to buy any more threads, yarn or anything remotely crafty until I have a decent size hole in the thread, yarn and material stash. This will be a new years resolution, I'm getting in practice already and walked straight past the yarn aisle in BigW yesterday, didn't even glance over to see if they had anything on special and a friend has phoned me from the big city and wanted to know if I needed anything bringing up while she was in Spotlight. Why did she laugh derisively when I told her I wasn't buying anything more this year and she actually snorted when I told her about my new years resolutiom. Oh she of little faith.
One way of getting down the stash of yarn is to crochet lots of different flowers, small, medium and large, make it up as you go along. I have a nice selection now, I just throw them in a box and there is always some propject that just needs a finishing touch. Slightly bigger balls of leftover yarn can be made into amigurumi and I have a box full of very strange body parts, I'm crocheting dishclothes now out of balls and balls of cotton I bought for $2.00 from the thrift shop. I've printed out some label bands and will wrap them in pairs and give out as stocking filler gifts.
The clock is ticking down to christmas and I am still procastinating over putting the last few stitches in two cross-stitch projects. They wer both scanned photographs of my friends pooch that I made into a a cross-stitch design. I've made some amigurumi angels for the girls and some sort of strange creature as a gift for a friends baby. Finances don't run to chrissy pressies this year so I am making the majority of them, luckily I have friends that appreciate that.

Well, I suppose I'd better go and edit some piccys so I can pretty up my blog.

Hugs, love and light


janjan