procrastination yet again.

I am mooching round the house looking for things to clean, anything other than sitting down and crafting and getting those damm snowmen finished. I love doing them its just I can't bring myself to a) write out the pattern properly on the computer, b) sit down and waste time crafting the whole day.  What is wrong with me.  The house is full of snowballs that need to be assembled. Buttons need to be sewn on, carrot noses made.

I soaked all the sheets in the neighbours holiday home in bleach yesterday just to keep me occupied, i even vacummed behind things.  I'm considering getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the bathroom floor tiles and if it wasn't so wild and wet outside I'd think about getting out the ladders and cleaning the windows. 

Once upon a time, long before widowhood, heart attacks and by-passes I would have ignored the cleaning and the time. I would spend hours crafting and always felt guilty about leaving things undone.  Sometimes needles, threads and yarns had to be prised from my hands in the early hours, I was totally oblivious to the time.  Now I have time (and I know I have moaned about this many times before) I just can't get the motivation to use that time.
Perhaps I am hoping that I'm going to get an AHA! moment, that the light bulb is going to glow brightly, by writing my feelings down maybe I will see what is so obvious.

So......what am I going to do.   Bath the dog is what I am going to do, then fold sheets, then have a cup of coffee and read a few more blogs, then sort out my already sorted out kitchen cupboards, then prune a few plants, then sweep off the verandah, then maybe have another coffee, check my emails, prepare dinner and by then it should be bedtime again.

These are some of the things I am capable of when I am motivated.

Strange Day......

Weird dreams, reflux, scratching dog, leg cramps, howling winds......I was like a zombie when i finally dragged myself out of bed this morning.  If I hadn't had to work this morning i would have pulled the covers straight back over my head and slept the day away.  The weather isn't helping - wet, miserable, misty and a bit nippy. 

This mornings job started out fine, i was on a roll until it came time to go over the non-compliance list with the manager who disappeared, he passed the buck to someone else who in turn threw it to someone else who then passed it to the junior to deal with.  I don't care anymore as long as I get paid for my bit thats okay with me. 

I went to the library after and couldn't find one book I really wanted to read. I finally picked the girl with the dragon tattoo. Driving home it was like I was invisible, I had my lights on because of the weather, I had cars pulling out in front of me at junctions, cars coming across the centre line and narrowly missing me and then I just remembered in time I had to get petrol and just made it to the servo. I even had a couple of huge rats run out in front of me.

The owners of the holiday home next door stayed the weekend and had to leave in a hurry cos their son was sick which means she's left me a nice mess to sort out. Beds to be stripped and a bathroom to clean.  But at least its more money for me.

I feel so out of sorts today, headachey - actually a bit fluey. I'm gonna go put next doors washing on and then I'm going to crawl into bed with my book.

Jan

Procrastination

Oh dear, I have a deadline....end of April and the end of April is easter, so it has to be a deadline the week before easter.  I do not feel like doing anything.  My get up and go packed its bags and left for a holiday in a dryer climate.  This constant drizzle and miserable weather is just draining the life out of me.  Come on Sun I know you are are there.

I have plants to put in - up and out of bed at 6.30 and out to the market two towns over to pick up some promised eggplants seedlings, it was wet and muddy and I didn't feel like going so it was straight there and back.  I suppose they will sit in their pots next to the coriander seedlings I bought last weekend, waiting for me to get my act together and get them planted.

The snowmen (deadline items) are in snowballs still waiting construction, then I came up with another idea and of course had to drop everything to do that - and of course that is now waiting to be finished.

I have the beginnings a new love life if I can stop making excuses why I can't have one right now.

I need to get a new career, but thats been put on hold cos I now have carpal tunnel in my wrists and in my elbow, so that sort of puts paid for me looking at admin or clerical work, its also slowed down the craft work.  I think carpal is slightly better than the neuropathy from the diabetes that it could have been but isn't.

So, rather than move forward, I've stuck everything in the too hard basket and am now sat here procrastinating.

I know how to get myself out of it, I know I have a problem and I know how to deal with it,
I have all the tools necessary in my life to move forward.  I am the Queen of Self Sabatage, my life is going good and its like 'okay I know something bad is going to happen soon so I'll just stop now so I won't be disappointed', 'if I make the effort in this new relationship and then something goes wrong and it doesn't work out then I will get hurt, so I'll just finish it now to save all that pain'....... you see where I am going with this.

OK, rant over. Thats feels better.  Now to go and push myself to do something, maybe knock down a few of these barriers I've built up around myself.

Jan


PS: One of the things I did last week (Friday) was have all my hair cut off...........and I had a few streaks put in.  I went into the hairdressers and she did it there and then , no procrastinating. If I had gone home and thought about it I would have chickened out.
So look out for the new photo coming soon. I can have my hair straight or allow it to be its normal wavy self. The straight style sort of needs to grow on me a bit, and she's cut it so that the silver wings blend in with the streaks.

Firsts for this little old lady......

After my appointment in town I met up with a friend for coffee and we decided to have a girly day out - op-shopping and checking out places we don't normally go.  Two girly day outs in a week - can my system cope with it all.  Bought a seersucker pink and yellow table cloth at one op-shop - I have such a large dining table that it is hard to find everyday tablecloths for it so I was really pleased when we unfolded the table cloth and it was huge.  Then we decided to go over to the next town for lunch. First time ever I have been in a RSL club, aftern lunch my friend showed me how to play the pokies, another first.  I really can't see what the point is just sitting at a machine and hitting that button over and over again.  Soon got bored with that but at least I didn't lose any money.  But that's two more things I can tick off my firsts list. 
The heavens opened just has we were going back to the car, we had to sit ouside Target for 10 mins before we could get out of the car.  They had my favourite knickers in the sale and they were even reduced by another dollar at the checkoout so I was a happy little Jan.  Treated myself to a new cd - Bat out of Hell, my old tape of it has finally given up the ghost, its over 30 years old and with all the playing its had over the years I'm surprised its lasted this long. 
Bought more yarn as well - yes, I needed it. I knit half of it up last night in a spiral scarf and I'm not happy with the colour changes in it.  So it might become something else. I might knit up a pair of fingerless gloves or socks instead. 

  Well, like a bat out of hell I'm going, going, gone.

Start to the day

Just a quickie, a bit of pink in my dreary wet day. I ran out of milk and forgot to buy more so couldn't have my morning coffee.  A cup of red fruits tea and I am ready for anything though.  Now, I really had better go get dressed and get into town.

Jan

be careful what you say.....

Coming out of Spotlight (and I managed to get out with only spending $18), I commented to my friends to be careful because there was slippery wet slimy moss in the gutters.  No sooner than the words were out of my mouth then the back of my foot came down on the aforementioned slime and I away I went, did the splits, managed to stay upright but slid into the car. 
Once the three of us are together doing our 'chick' things  we are oblivious to the world around us,  though having reli's and friends in Japan was never far from our minds.  I had not long been through the door after returning home and heard on the news there had been a small earthquake about 30 klms out to sea and slightly south from where we had spent the day, roughly about the time we were getting in the car to come home.   I never felt a thing even though it was reported that people in the area had reported feeling movement.
I was amazed just how many earthquakes there are in the world every day. 
Better get a wiggle on, the morning is running away from me. Got an appointment in town and then coffee with a friend.

Hugs to all

Jan

The universe is conspiring against me again. Its piddled down all day, its wet and its miserable and there is more forcast.  But compared to the coast further south this is nothing. Definately not in the mood for sourcing something pretty, not even the thought of lots of garage sales could coach me out of the house.  Comfort food that is what I needed - a fried egg butty with lashings of HP sauce.  I had attempted to have one for my dinner last night, but a friend phoned up just as I was about to take the first bite and by the time she had rang off it was stone cold and very unappitising so it went in the bin. Lunchtime I had another attempt - cracked the egg into the pan, perfect, didn't break the yoke this time - bugger, hang on why is it a yucky green colour, bugger, bugger and triple bugger. Okay universe so you don't want me to have anything unhealthy for lunch. Ha, the breads already buttered, just bung on some peanut butter and strawberry jam.  Gotcha there didn't I universe.   I suppose as always the universe will have the last laugh.

I'm going to curl up now with my sudoku and be lazy for the rest of the day.

Boring, boring, boring

I look around my house and it is BORING.  No pretty pinks or pastels but dull browns and dark colours with the added bits of colour from the bright coloured crocheted throws and the snowman dolls.
I am on a mission to get rid of brown in my life.  It doesn't help that my late beloved had a thing for natural wood, he loved his wood and working with it and he made a lot of the things in our house.  The kitchen is Queensland Maple, which is a nice golden colour and has mellowed and I am happy with that but the other wood in the living room is a dark reddy brown, the carpet is a yucky browny colour.  Its all too masculine. I've tried to pretty it up, I've got pretty blue and flowery things in the bedrooms but they still seem to be dominated by wood.  I'm not a frilly frilly pretty girl, but I do like plain and pretty (is there such a thing) and simple. I have a severe lack of funds for anything major so it has to be done on the cheap.
My mission if I choose to accept it - Pretty up my life.

So what am I going to do today to pretty up my life.  I am going to set myself a target of $10 this weekend to buy something that will give me joy and make my life just a little bit more prettier.



             

chimichangas

Chimigangas are a tex mex dish,  Bubz.  Google the recipe as there a few different ways of doing them.  I always add a packet of taco sauce mix (Homebrand) to the stock the meat is cooked in and a bit extra liquid.  The meat is cooked on a low heat with garlic and spices for a couple of hours till all the liquid has practically gone and then it is shredded easily with two forks.  Then a dollop of the mixture is put in the centre of a warm tortilla and then the tortilla is fold up into a little packet and fried on both sides.  I found the recipe in one of those little family circle cook books that are always at woolies checkouts.  This one was Tex Mex.

The Cassowary Coast are still copping the rain, up here in on the Atherton Tablelands some areas are getting more than most and one poor woman was washed away when her car was washed off the road. They found her body the other day.  It made me feel sick knowing just how easy it could happen and I know my friend and I won't be doing it again any time soon.  Our part of the Tablelands is getting steady rain but not big numbers, yesterday there was 60mm from the previous 24 hours and today there was only 15mm in the rain gauge, yet about 40 klms away they got over 60mm.  I've seen rain fall on one half of the road and the other half be as dry as anything, it was like a curtain of rain.  Very strange.

Well I suppose I'd better go get some work done.

Jan

Computer glitches yet again

Computer worked fine last night, this morning it was playing up yet again. So after making sure it wasn't human error (mine) I packed up the hard drive and off I went again.  Terry looked at it straight away,  found out what the problem was and sorted it out with  no charge.  So lets see how long this lasts for.

I bought some choc chip orange cookies this morning, yum.  There goes the diet.  I wonder how many klms on the treadmill will burn off three or four cookies. 

Yay.......the council finally came and picked up all my green waste from the footpath.  I registered three times to get it moved, it had grown as well, some of the broken branches had actually struck and a tree fern had taken over the centre of the pile. It took two big muscley men to move what one little old lady with a dodgy ticker had put there.  Now I have to go and hose off the footpath and sweep up the debris......or do I wait for the deluge that is scheduled to come down this arvo.

Now my puter is well and truly fixed I should really go get those patterns typed up.

Jan