Balance.....

It has taken a while but I finally have balanced my life out.  So far so good until of course until I meet a new man and I will have to shuffle things around a bit to fit him into my life or a new job comes up.   I'm back doing the mystery shopping, not a lot, probably only a couple of jobs a month and I am going to try and put the money earned from that into a savings account.  I used to be such a good saver, before kids and commitments I saved up for the deposit on a house and always had money in the bank.  Then once the kids came along it was impossible to save.  Now its just me on my own again I find it even harder. There just isn't anything left at the end of month.  I know if I didn't craft I probably would be a lot better off, the money I would save by not buying craft materials is far more than the money I get from selling what I make at the moment. 

Some days I just do not feel like making anything and I used to be happy with that, I could quite easily go a month without creating anything (or buying any materials). I know I've waffled on about this before so ignore me if it gets boring.  It just my way of sorting everything out in my head, I'm thinking out loud, well, typing out loud.  What would I do if lack of money wasn't a barrier. Well, if I had money, then I wouldn't need to craft to earn money I could do it as pure pleasure and I probably wouldn't do as much. I would make what I wanted to make and take my time and savour the joy of making.  I would probably create more for the magazines.  But on the other hand, money is really not a problem for me, I either have it or I don't.  I'm not obsessive about having more, yes it would be nice not to have to struggle to pay the bills, but the bills do get paid, it would be nice to splurge once in a while and sometimes I do, though only small pretty things as an occassional treat.

To be quite honest I am happy with my life, despite others saying I should  have more, I shouldn't just settle for how things are.  So I'm just going to pootle along doing what I do, a little bit of volunteer work, a little bit of craft, a little bit of socialising, a little bit of solitude and meditation, healthy eating and exercise, a little bit of work, a tiny amount of gardening,  a little bit of family and then mix it all up and I really have a very good life and I am satisfied with that.

I have been making coathangers and I found a little half finished baby bear hat, unfortunately I didn't have enough yarn left to finish the ears in the original yarn. I did have some leftover yarn from a christmas project that was supposed to be the same colour code as the hat yarn but there was a definate difference in colour, perhaps its just me being my fussy self but maybe someone else won't notice it. I stuck a flower on - I managed to find a tiny amount of the pink in my scrap stash that matched the edging and frogged about 6 attempts at flowers till i finally managed to make a flower that didn't run out of yarn about 6 stitches from the end.  It'll fit a newborn to 3 months i think. I decided that if I was going to make something as naff as coathanger covers then I was going to do them my way and pretty.  I am enjoying making them, everyone is different, once i get bored with them then I'll stop.  I have recently owned up to the fact that I do have short attention spans where certain things are concerned and making these certain things or doing these certain things  lose my interest very quickly.  Thats probably why I have half a dozen projects on the go at once and why I have a very large stash (hidden away) of UFO's, why I can have at least 5 books I am reading and why I never ever quite finish the decorating.  But you know what, I'm happy with that, thats me, I'm not breaking any laws or upsetting anyone, I'm going with the flow, when I need to I can allow routine in and I know sometimes I have to behave like a grown up and get things done the right way.  I spent a few years trying to be in control of everything, trying to get routine into my life, I think because so much had happened I needed to be in control because I was in danger of losing the plot completely.  Now everything is in balance again I can see the areas that need to have routine and the areas I can let go.

I'd better go get dressed, wouldn't look good going shopping in my jami's - very nice jami's, greeny blue with owls all over them.  Boring routine stuff that needs to be done and a quick forage round the op shops thats pure pleasure. 

If you stayed around and didn't fall asleep or leave the room half way through this post I hope you have a wonderful day.

UHRU

Jan